04 February, 2010

because 200 characters are not enough.

this post is in response to this which I received in response to this. :)
and a 200 character response box? well it just wasn't enough.

Dear sweet anonymous friend,

I only spoke for me.

because I am not wonderful.

I am in fact abundantly aware of my own weakness,
such that I know, were left to go it alone,
I would crumble.

I am afraid of crumbling.


because I have crumbled.
too many times to count.

and when I pleaded here for help, pleaded not to be left alone,
it was because I knew my heart could not endure another breakdown.

not of that nature,
not that day.

amid kids.
and bills (of both life and medical varieties).
and discussions with insurance companies.
and calling the mortuary to wrap up final details.
and having to say "he died" one too many times to people who were
somehow still unaware.

Please know,

I do recognize
my TREMENDOUS blessings.

I live in gratitude, wonder and awe,
consistently wondering why I've been blessed with so much support.

I dance with God in my prayers.

reminding Him every day how undeserving I am.

Then, in the very next breath,
begging and pleading that He will continue to bless me so.

Then again, I acknowledge that really,
I don't deserve a lick of it.

. . . then guess what I do next?

I pray,
from the very depth of my soul
for those who do not receive the same abundant support.
For those quiet, lonely hearts that walk this horrific unknown path


I pray for you.
every single time I pray for myself,
I plead with God for you.

which is all day.
every day.
of my new life.

You mentioned feeling judged.
I have no room to judge.
I do not judge you or anyone else who walks this vicious path,
nor do I pretend to know a thing about how you feel.

I am so sorry if my words hurt your heart.

Would that I could turn around and eat them right back up. . .

I'm sorry if my journey
has caused you more pain.

I am sorry.

you're right.
I am acutely aware that
"not everyone has the world's prayers as [they] struggle"

yet, for what it's worth,
please know you have mine.

every single one.

in complete sincerity of heart,


**Post Edited to Include:
If you choose to comment on this post,
please do so with love and respect.


Unknown said...

You have nothing to be sorry for, I do not understand where that note even came from. How can the fact that you have so many people praying for you be a flaw?!?!? Your struggles, and your openness in dealing with them, have opened up so many hearts to prayer and when we pray for you, we also pray for everyone who is grieving. What that poster did not understand is that no one is alone in grief. Ever. Don't let this steal your sunshine!

Ashley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Natalie. said...

Thank you. To all who comment, please remember that I am not offended by this little note, deeply saddened, but not offended. I only addressed it publicly because I quite literally had NO OTHER OPTION. The site used to send the note, kept the sender completely anonymous (which was clearly his/her intention) and only allowed me a 200 character response.

Please tread softly in the comments you write. Be respectful and kind.

I love you!

Natalie. said...

. . . respectful and kind to both of us, anonymous and myself. :)

Tasha said...

I am sad for this person. I will pray for them not to ever feel alone. I would hope and pray that everybody would pray for anybody given the chance.

Natalie. said...

thank you Tasha, I agree. Kiss. N

Sabrina said...

That is incredibly sad. It makes me wonder how this person made their way to your site in the first place. Do they know you personally, did they get a link here from another site (as I did)? It's very hard to grieve alone, I've suffered miscarriage after miscarriage and grieved essentially alone. However, I cannot imagine going through the loss of my full term, perfect infant child alone. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Prayers for you and all families suffering grief, loneliness, and those that don't know our loving God - always.

Launa said...

I am quite impressed that you responded, and so eloquently. I'm sure I would have been so flabbergasted that I would not have even known how to begin a response. Bravo for taking that on!
And prayers go out to that pain filled soul!

Launa said...

oh, and please continue to give us such transparent posts... they show us you're real... and have blah, icky, breakdown days too!

Unknown said...

Such a sweet response-
As to anon. my heart aches for you! Please know that I now pray for you, and hope you never feel alone again. We all have melt downs of different sorts- some publicly and some privately- if you just reach out I am positive you will be pleasantly surprised as to how many people would love to pray for you and encircle you with their love. (I started praying for Nat. after a friend of a friend of a friend told me about her blog- we all know how that goes:) Please know that you are NEVER alone. Heavenly Father loves you and -I am sure -prays for you daily, as he does us all.

Chelsea said...

I feel sad. Sad that this person, who could be so inspired from your blog, is instead so grief stricken and alone, that they are incapable of using it for healing. A great reminder of just how many people need our prayers. People we don't even know. I will, starting now, pray with more empathy and clarity, for those whom I don't know, who are surely suffering more than I can even comprehend.
Anonymous, who ever you are, please know you are never alone.

Natalia said...

You have inspired so many people with your beautiful writing, and I don't think you have to apologize to anyone. This is your blog. You have every right to express how you feel: whether it be wonderful or whether it be "bleh."

Tiffany said...

Wow. I will never fully understand why people try to bring down others. It is sad to know that this anonymous person felt compelled to attack you for you being you. Why they couldn't relish in your words, your prayers, your hope, your love for God?
I am glad that I found your blog through another blog. You inspire me with your words. You're real with your good and bad days. Keeping it real.

Scott & Tami said...

Anonymous-You are in my prayers. And still praying for you and your sweet family Nat.

Anonymous said...

Amen Horsley family. praying for you anonymous.

The Michiganders said...

Thank you for your kind example. I especially loved when you wrote "I am so sorry if my words hurt your heart. Would that I could turn around and eat them right back up." Words so striped of pride and so completely Christlike.

I can't tell you how much your post made me want to be closer to God and kinder to all around me.

Bless your beautiful and courageous heart. I am so touched.

LauraRad said...

To anonymous and all those out there who feel the same way, my prayers are with you. Just like God is with you. He is there, He is good. All the time. I pray that you feel that. It's in our deepest, darkest times that God is with us the most. He carries us. It makes me sad that some people feel completely alone. I hope when they are in that darkest place, they feel God's presence the most.

For you Natalie, I'm grateful for your openness and your eloquent way with words. And your family remains in my prayers. Always.

Krista Lucas said...

dear natalie and anonymous:

i am praying for both of you, fervently and deeply.

Anonymous said...

I have followed your blog and I just want to say that you are an inspiration. This is your blog. Keep on being you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Nat,
Your response was perfect. Since your posts, we have been praying for your continued healing and for the healing and comfort of anyone out there who has a child that is suffering including "anonymous". Recently my daughter's teacher has been spending many sleepless nights at Primary Children's ICU. Her 9 week old daughter has colitis and they can't figure out what is causing it. She's getting nutrients from an IV. Please keep her in your prayers. We love you Nat.

All our Aloha,
Nat and Rex

Aria said...

Once again, your words are so touching -filled with such love and honesty. What a blessing that tragedy hasn't left you with an angry and bitter heart. Thank you for inspiring us all as we encounter our own personal tragedies and trials in our lives. You are a brave and generous person. Thank you.

Unknown said...

i'm not sure how you find all the perfect words. really. you inspire.

PMC said...

experience can soften our hearts...and natalie, yours is soft and you are a WONDERFUL example to us all. keep that good heart of yours soft....oh, to be as full of love as your heart is...broken..but full of love even still. still praying for you and now sara as well, and all of those who are sad or going through trials...

Anonymous said...

Once I felt the sadness and loss for you for Gavin... and then the others you mentioned that were with you in the Children's hospital, and then the disaster in Haiti ( and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Haitian people, I served them on my mission)... I thought of the pain and emotion I felt for you and your loss and tried to imagine it multiplied by thousands... and that's not even knowing the thousands out that that I DON"T know about... my goodness... my heart ached... it still does. I'm so sorry for any that go without any rallying support.. for those that do not have our Faith and our answers... for those that still plead in their hearts for help and remain alone to feel their pain. I know that the Lord is there and gave His life, willingly so that He would know how to succor us. I hope "anonymous" finds this love and this healing power and that through this... "anonymous" can also receive the prayers of our many hearts... though that she/he would feel them like you felt ours :)

Anonymous said...

dear anonymous: In following Nat's journey this last month, I have wondered about those who have had to suffer alone, like you. In every prayer of mine for Natalie and her sweet baby and family over these last few weeks, I've also prayed for those that are/and have suffered this alone. I know without a doubt that God has sent as many angels your way, and he has to Natalie. You are loved, and prayed for, believe me.

Kaelee said...

Natalie and Family,
I think of you and pray for you daily. Just so you know :)

amynicole said...

natalie, i think you're great!

Christensen's said...


Wow you are amazing. I just cant stop reading your blog. Every time I read it I am inspired and oh how I wish I could write like you do. You are truly talented and are a wonderful person. Praying for you and your family everyday!


Brein said...

You don't know me, I stumbled onto your blog the other day. You amaze me. You are amazing. To stay so loving and kind hearted through an unimaginable trial is beyond words. I pray for you and your family and wish I could do more. Thank you for putting this all out there, I can't imagine how hard it must be. I've lost a loved one very dear to my heart and wish I could be more and grateful and positive like you. You have gone through something way harder than I have and have done so with grace and dignity. Your inspiring in every way. My love goes out to you and your family.

Anonymous said...


You and I are tremendously blessed to have people we know and don't know praying over us. And knowing that encourages us to pray for those we know and don't know. The best part of your response to the anonymous writer was giving reassurance of your prayers.....for her. Now she IS prayed over and the Lord will answer that prayer to what is best for her. You handled it with much grace.

Hugs, Naomi

Anonymous said...

Stumbled upon your blog. First let me tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your precious son. Second, I just want to say that your loving response to the note you received touched me very deeply. I read once "Kindness can save a life. You never know what somebody's going though." I think that compassion for others is something the world could use more of...even when and sometimes especially when they lash out. Thank you for reminding me of this. I will be praying for you and your family and the person who left the note and whatever trials they are going through in life.

mckenzie said...

The last thing you need right now is for someone to be hard on you. Praying for you even harder now...

Maly and Dan said...

You have nothing to apologize about! We love you and continue to pray for you and your family.

Deanna said...

Big hugs for you, Anonymous, and sorrow for your loss. You definitely have people praying for you tonight; I hope you can feel it!!

Unknown said...

Love you Natalie. Love you Anonymous. If I have learned ANYTHING in the past two years, is to lose myself and to love others with all of my heart. Natalie does this. She is a tremendous example of humility and love. My prayers go out to everyone who has had to endure such struggles.

Meltdowns come. They do for everyone....especially those who know this type of loss. It is at those times when we are quite literally, held in our loving Heavenly Father's arms. I know. I have felt that searing pain. He is real. He loves you too. You are in my prayers tonight especially.

D&J Savaiinaea said...

You are so amazing N. The fact that in all of your grief you continue to reach out to those who don't understand like you do. Oh I was so mad and yet like you more saddened, just wishing we could share the gospel to everyone so they can feel Heavenly Fathers love! You are helping me each day try to be the best type of person.

Thank you so much!!!

Wendy and Neal said...

You should write a book. Please?

Your book, of course, would be on the "inspiration" rack.

On a more specific note, to anon. Every day in my prayers, I pray to Heavenly Father, saying, "...Be with those that need thee. Embrace them in their darkest hour." This is nothing less than genuine, every time. I just don't know where your blog is, to tell you God is receiving prayers on your behalf, too. You must have the weight of the world on your shoulders; I can't imagine. But, I do sympathize. Be glad that someone like Natalie can be lifted up in her darkest hours. She would be glad for you, as we all would be.

ihavemostlybeen said...

You have the most massive heart Natalie, that is filled with love and you are willing to share and to be charitable where others might have been less so, as usual an eloquent, heartfelt lesson to us all and to anonymous thank you for the reminder that there are others who suffer alone. You too are included in my prayers.

Eyes Bigger Than Belly said...

Hi Natalie,
I found this blog today and wanted to share it with you - she reminds me of you (not that I know you) with her grace, dignity and unfailing ability to love.


Not to mention her beautiful way with words - which you are definately blessed with.

Joy :)

Anonymous said...

I did not read anon's note as harsh or cruel. I read it as someone who is also in pain and reaching out. Sometimes our words don't come out right. Sometimes we are misunderstood when we are in deep dark places. Sometimes we WANT to just shut the world out. So kudos to anonymous for speaking up, even if it was anonymously in this instant. S/he must be in a state of hurt, and needs all our love and prayers and virtual hugs, too.

Remember when you're praying for one, that there are many others in similar situations. Why not include them in your prayers too?

Thank you Natalie for your sweet, kind spirit, and responding so gently to another broken soul. I don't know who that person is, but I am thanking you for them. I am sad that they feel so alone, but I hope that they can come here and read encouraging words and not FEEL so alone.

Dria said...

We will just include that lost soul with their unfounded message in our prayers.
You have so many prayers going your way and look how you have directed even MORE prayers to tiny Bronson and his family!
I found you by reading a photo board post and the letters "RSV" screamed at me-that is what registered in my brain - I had to find you and your story- We lived in terror of RSV for Alex's 1st 2 years (he was a 29 week premie) It think God heard the words "NO RSV PLEASE!!" more than anything else from me.
But those letters brought me to your blog and putting you and yours in my prayer chain and adding Bronson to it too.
I feel if someone doesn't want their name tied to a comment they know they shouldn't be typing it-
the devil hates that we are all linking to pray-- but as the naysayers throw stones we grow closer.
Prayers for beautiful day for you and yours.

Finding My Way Back... said...

I'm sorry that in the midst of your sorrow, you were lashed out at by someone else who is also grieving.

I feel terribly for Anonymous just as I do you but I feel equally strongly that despite Anonymous' hurt, it's not okay to be angry at you for what you have and what you are.

I do know that when people feel alone and sad and hurt it is common to react with anger toward those who have some of what we wish we had (I spent some years working as a volunteer counselor at a battered women's shelter and found that those women who struggled to look forward and make changes often had tremendous resentment toward those who could do this). In any event, while I can understand possibly WHY Anonymous might have lashed out at you, I feel just awful that you got such a message at this time (or at any time frankly) in your life.

With love and a big hug,

Shepherd Family ACALPM said...

I wish that I could let people know that they are prayed for from all over the world... Everyone of my prayers includes All who are suffering...I pray now that they can open their hearts to the Love that can pour in. They are never truly alone.

Joyelle said...

Marjorie Pay Hinckley:
"There are some years in our lives that we would not want to live again. But even these years will pass away, and the lessons learned will be a future blessing."

D&C 24:8
"Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days."

These words have helped me and I hope that they can help any and every one who is suffering a silent storm inside.

Ashley said...

I think we can all use a little more love. Thanks for spreading that love Nat. What the heck why don't we all pray for those how feel alone and see what happens. :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Natalie--Thank you for letting our other little sister know our prayers are for her and all the others we don't know by name but feel a as a part of us. Truly, "no man is an island", we are all a part of the continent and any thing that diminshes the continent diminishes us. Anonyous sister...please hang in there and at the end of the melt down know that we pray and love you too.

Kathleen, your aunt gretchen's walking buddy.

Melanie A said...

I am so happy to have just recently discovered your blog. Your words everyday- as well as all the great articles you have written for photographers have been incredibly inspiring. Thank you. And I think your journey through grief will provide comfort to others who are going through the same thing- your written experience helps give words to that which is unspoken. I feel sad that anonymous took what you said as judging- I think sometimes we see things through the perspective we are dealing with and not as they really are. Hopefully, your bravery in talking about your loss will inspire anonymous to also reach out and share with someone, so that she doesn't feel so alone. Many blessings to you, Natalie!

Kristine from Canada said...

Oh Natalie, Huge hugs!

kelijeandesign said...

I have recently been reading your blog... inadvertently stumbled upon it. You are a truly strong person.... all that aside.... You are also a genius photographer... I could look at your lovely images for days. All the best to you and your family, I will continue to read, and thank you.

Annie Link said...

Dearest Anonymous,

Thank you for reaching out--in what was probably the best you could come up with in that moment. Your words have given me an opportunity to look into my own heart and this is what I saw:

There have been days when I, too, have felt 'left out' and misunderstood--and in those dark moments, I haven't always been able to be my best self or to find the perfect words to say, "uh, I'm having kind of a hard time over here . . ."

There have been days when my pain was so acute, I've said things I didn't really mean-(and Oh! how I've wished that nobody else heard, and I could just have a quiet 'do over').

There have been times when I've judged harshly before I really understood . . .

When Natalie and Gavin were growing up, I used to always tell them this:

"Sometimes . . .
you have to look really hard at a person . . .
and remember . . .
that they're doing the best they can.
They're just trying to find their way, that's all . . . Just like you."

And do you know what young Natalie would usually say?
"Shut up, Mom!"

I was really good at talking too much--especially after it was time to shut up.

Anyway, thanks for helping me see these things. I sure hope you're feeling a little better today. I hope I've seen clearly here. I've prayed to be able to.

I love you,
(Natalie's mom)

[Quote is from my favorite movie: On Golden Pond.]

Kelly said...

There is so much pain and anguish in "Anonymous"'s comment. Please do not be hard on her/him. Whatever they are going through must me horribly heavy. The weight of which only God can bear for them. I did not see the comment as cruel or angry, I just saw pain. I will pray for "Anonymous" as well, and I will pray for God's grace and healing...just like I have over and over for you and your family, Natalie.

Love XOXO,
A stranger from KS

Anonymous said...

I think there are many grieving people out there who, quite simply, don't understand how you have managed to navigate such a difficult path so graciously.

I surmise that these people don't understand that you have far more than "the prayers of the world" backing you up. You have (through much work and personal study) an incredible and undeniable faith in things unseen. You have an abiding love for--and testimony in--Jesus Christ. You have experienced many sacred experiences that have allowed you "to see" beyond this mortal existence. You have made very sacred covenants and you have engaged in sacred ordinances which ENSURE the surival of your family unit. Which is to say, you are able to know UNEQUIVOCALLY that you will be with your dear Gavin again--that you will have the opportunity to raise him, that, together with his Daddy and his big brothers, youf family will continue on throughout the eternities. That promise has been made to you with assurity..and what a blessing that is.

I think that many grieving people have an abiding HOPE in such things. You are have blessed to KNOW of such things; for, again, they have been promised to you. To me, it seems that this is where the majority of your strength is coming from, and I would venture to say that this lack of understanding is where so many well-intentioned people see you through eyes green with envy. Perhaps a thorough explanation of what you believe is in order.

If the world is indeed praying for you and your family, you can count me in as part of that lot.

An Anonymous Onlooker

Anonymous said...


As often as I pray for you, I will include not only this person, but all others who feel alone in their despair, that they may feel the very arms of our Lord enfold them. God bless you for reminding us that many are hurting and need our continual supplications on their behalf.


Natalie. said...


Yes. These things do give me tremendous strength. . . but I also think that people need to be aware that even with the strength I have, I am still devastated.

Strength does not rid the heart of pain and sorrow.

I think people may read the blog and have a misconception that I am all smiles and happiness. . . or at least most of the time. . . and I'm assuming that that makes people feel like "what's wrong with me? why can't I move on?" or like I must be in denial or like somehow my strength removes validity from their grief. I think that in realizing the honest truth that I do in fact suffer, deeply, that I too, despite my faith and strength, am in the abysmal pit of grief. . . maybe that will help people realize that It's ok to be sad. To be where you are every day. . . and no matter what it's ok. You are NOT denying your faith by being devastated. If so, I would be as guilty as anyone out there.

I think I may have given a false perception that may have been hurtful to people who are trying desperately to navigate their own grief. . . and for that, I am sorry.

Thank you for your kind words. You are right, we are deeply blessed with the knowledge that we have. Unfortunately, it does not rid our hearts of the pain. . .



Anonymous said...

I have suffered and felt alone.

I have silently wished my pain on another... and felt sorry for myself... and asked "why me?"

I'm certainly not proud of it and do wish that I had suffered as well as Natalie seems to be suffering....

I had some faith... but not enough.

Anonymous-I understand... completely.

I love the post from Natalies mom :)and Natalie- I hope you don't disappear for too long. Your posts bless me day after day.

Unknown said...

Dear Anonymous,

Natalie is the last person who would judge you for breaking down, regardless of how broken you became. Falling apart with grief is not unhealthy (I acknowledge that it doesn't feel healthy at the time). Everything may crumble and seem hopeless and empty and that's okay. It's not wrong to grieve, however ugly it may feel. It is a natural part of healing.
I am so sorry that you are feeling alone in your struggle. I will be praying for you, along with Natalie and all who are aware of you. God bless you to feel all of our love and His loving arms around you. May you continue to heal in the way that is best for you. You now have an army praying for you!

Unknown said...

natalie you are what God wants us to be. loving, compassionate and forgiving. even with your own pain and heartache the fact that you have chosen to be so kind in your reponse should be a lesson to us all. as i grow older i try not to judge people, it is not our place and we never know what their lives are like or the heartaches they may be suffering. your kindness and compassion may profoundly impact this person in the way it is intended, for good. you are an inspiration to many. you'll be in my prayers. with love, susan

Kristen said...

Nat, perfectly expressed. Don't apologize.
Anonymous, you have prayers. LOTS of them. Please know that even though you may feel alone, you are not. We are praying for you.

Heather said...

Why someone would leave a comment like that, especially with what you are going through, I just don't know. Please don't let it affect you in any way! I love coming to your blog and reading your heartfelt messages. I haven't ever read them thinking, wow she's just all smiles and not sad enough" if anything, I can feel your strength,(which is such a gift to others!) and your despair. I think you have the blessing of being able to inspire others with your rock solid testimony and love for the Savior, which bands people together.

Amazing people will always have an army to rally behind them, and I think sometimes the adversary wants to try as hard as he can to break that down, even if it's through another's pain. You shouldn't have to apologize about the way you are expressing yourself. Look at all the people who love to read your words, are touched, and want to pray for you!

Keep doing what you're doing, I for one am better for it.

debbie said...

Anonymous, you are in my prayers. I wish no one ever had to experience such pain as I'm assuming you've had.

I think it's a good thing that this opened a dialogue and let people know that they don't have to feel bad about the way they are grieving. A blog will most likely never show what every day life is really like for someone.

Natalie, thank you for your continued inspiration and example.

Crystal Blackledge said...

Your blog is one of my favorite websites to visit! Although you have upbeat inspirational thoughts you write, I think it is pretty clear that you are missing your baby tremendously... but you have found a way to remember him by hope, and love and compassion. I really enjoy what you write and you seem so sincere to all that visit your blog. Crystal

Dolly said...

I agree with Crystal. It is very clear that you are suffering.. tremendously.. even though you are offering hope through the utmost devastation.

The juxtaposition of it all is what is so awe inspiring to your followers.

Many people who read, also realize how therapeutic these writings are for you and we are more than happy to be an audience for any bit of healing that WILL inevitably occur. And when you need a time out-- that's a given!!!!

Someone said that anonymous read that post in a unique way, probably due to her own circumstances... I agree. And then someone cried, "Foul!" and then you came along and said, "Nope, she's SAFE!" Look how much good it has sparked already. Help. Insight. Reflection. And one day... one glorious day, healing for others and in time, for you. We know you are broken. This blog is part of your repair shop. It's just inspiring to see you in here, pouring your heart and soul out to lift another's burden by sorting through your own. It's the best of ethos, logos and pathos! Aristotle gives you an "A"! And if you were up on a pulpit, there's an "A" + "MEN" on your report card.

Our loving Creator did not design us to mourn into perpetuity. All things are allowed to be felt immensely, for our good and ultimately for the good of others. You just make our head spin that you connected the dots so fast. In reality, along with the heart felt attempts at showing our continual support, we come here in awe of your leadership. You are very persuasive. That's why we are called followers.

Just hoping we are not too much of a distraction to what your purpose is. If we can take what you offer and pass it forward-- GREAT. But please don't let us get in the way...

Much Love always.


mandy said...

A tender prayer going out for Anon and Nat and Sara tonight.

Kim said...

While I have never walked through anything like what you are walking through right now, I have dealt with feelings of feeling alone. I will say that the fact that your faith is so strong even in such turmoil and knowing that you are sincerely praying for us as we pray for you has made me feel less alone in this big world.

I pray that anonymous can feel that kind of faith and love from us and from God.

PhotoChick said...


Why I love your blog: Just when I feel that I cannot be any more blessed, you make sure that EVERY day is a blessing in more ways than I deserve! Thank you! Your beautiful heart once again has opened a floodgate of love & prayers DOUBLED! Continued prayers for you & yours EVERY DAY!!! Thank you for your wonderful Christian example -- always! God Bless You & Yours!!!
Much love always,
~ Amanda ~

And as to the inspiration to this beautiful post (anonymous): Firstly, BLESS YOU! You too are loved & prayed for. Though I am far from the world, please know that someone in this world loves and cares very much for you. Dear soul, I cannot imagine how much you are struggling. I am so very sorry. Sorry for your struggles & troubles. And I am even more sorry that you are feeling so desperately alone. You have my LOVE and PRAYERS!!! Though I'm unclear of your particular situation (and certainly do not wish to pry), I will pray for you in any way I can! God Bless you for reaching out to someone -- and Praise God you reached out to dear Natalie! She'll see that you will always be prayed for! (And as will I) NO ONE deserves to feel alone and un-prayed for, and I wish I could be there right now to wrap my arms around you SO TIGHT! Instead, I will envelope you in love & prayers. Please, DO NOT HESITATE to contact me if there's every anything else I can do for you. Much love, and God's Blessings to you & yours.

All my love,
~ Amanda ~

The.Marcellus.Family said...


I feel bad that that person thought she felt you were judging. It's sad that she got all of that out of you just simply feeling sad. You have every right to have a meltdown, and to have a broken heart. Everyone grieves in different ways. I'm just a random person but, I think how you are doing is amazing. I am so sorry to the girl who feels simply so alone. I think the world prays for all babies. I don't always pray for ONE baby, I had a baby in the NICU for a month. I prayed for each baby, and for babies around the world who needed the prayer. I hope she knows that.

Please don't feel sad by what she said. Possibly POSSIBLY this is how she grieves. Not saying its right or wrong, just saying I hope you don't feel sad anymore. You did fantastic on answering her back.

I pray for the girl that she will feel comfort in people around her. I pray she will know people are praying for her. Everyone is prayed for, we just don't always know it.

loves from Utah


Amie Sifferlen said...

You are an amazing woman of strength and I am humbled by your response to "the note". Simply humbling. May Our Gracious God Bless And Keep You Natalie.

Kristin said...

To Natalie's anonymous friend:

Dear One,

I so hope you make it this far through the comments. Please know that as I pray for anyone asking for prayers I am also praying for you; not because I know you or what you are struggling with, but because I know there are so many struggling and don't even know who to turn to. Please know that the praying community is a strong and compassionate one. Our hearts and prayers go out to each and every person who is grieving, is in pain, in danger or in a desperate situation whether they have made their needs known, or not.

May God's love bless you abundantly during this difficult time.


Anonymous said...

This post brought me to tears. I'm struggling with depression and with trying to feel close to God again. Your words and your faith have brought me closer to Him today. Glory!

I will thank God for you today. And for your amazing blog. Your honesty in your pain. I will ask God to continue to be your strength as you suffer. You've made me want to pray for the first time in a long time. Again, glory!

Natalie. said...


YOU.ARE.MAGIC. Thank you for sending me this. It touched my heart. I will be praying for YOU today.

God will be so happy to hear from you again! :) :)



123judyk said...

I just have one small but very important thing to tell you..............you are amazing!
Judy :)