"Mortality from Percussis is most common when you've got
elevated white blood cells or pneumonia and Gavin has both."
He spit that at me just completely matter of fact.
. . . and my knees shook and I felt as though MY lungs were going to collapse.
"He has PNEUMONIA?"
Apparently the angels
(which is what I've decided to call all the AMAZING specialists who are saving my son)
had neglected to mention that to me during routine rounds.
I mean, I'd known it was likely, but still,
the news felt a little like being banged in the face with a baseball bat.
Then there was a bunch of talk about white blood cells.
Elevated heart rates.
Irregular heart beats.
and somewhere in there we were discussing transfusions
and blood replacement.
I was a little dizzy but shockingly alert and coherent.
I finished the discussion and then when the angels were distracted
with charts and monitors, I slipped quietly into the bathroom.
Then I started to lose it.
I'd had it.
I felt like I had NOTHING left.
I had a good hard cry.
Reminded God what was in my heart,
squared my shoulders
and headed out.
I decided to leave crazy in the bathroom.
Crazy doesn't do you ANY good in the PICU.
I left that bathroom full of peace.
It's shocking when peace and terror coexist.
When I returned to the room I spoke with the Hematologist.
Angel number 4 million and 3.
When he introduced himself to me,
he put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.
I knew I liked him.
Our discussion was really encouraging.
The heart echo (Echocardiogram) looked good!
First good news in a week.
I swear to you.
Because of that the Hematologist feels
a transfusion would be premature.
Apparently it's not uncommon for white blood cells to go up up UP
and then peak and start to lower.
THAT'S WHAT WE NEED!!!
Lower white cells!!!
Elevated white cell counts make the blood thick and sludgy
which makes it harder for the heart to pump the blood through the body.
So that's the prayer for today.
That cell count needs to go down.
If the cell count has dropped tomorrow
morning then the transfusion will be taken off the table.
Which is good.
His body doesn't need any other invasive procedures.
He just needs to be able to rest so he can heal.
For the outpouring of love.
Thank you for the prayers.
Thank you for the faith and strength and friendship.
I LOVE YOU.
We can do this!