05 January, 2010

Tuesday.

Last night was rocky.
.
After dinner, I came in to use the lactation room (aaaagain)
and check in before I went to the hotel to try to grab a few hours.
.
I hate walking down the halls of the PICU.
All the angels (nurses) just look at me with these pathetic eyes,
and those I don't know personally avoid eye contact all together.
.
I got to his room and long story short
he was in a really ruogh spot.
.
I was near delirum already,
desperate for even 5 min of restful sleep.
.
The doc gave his report
and after the initial urge to vomit on his feet subsided,
I decided it was probably a good idea for me to stick around through the night.
.
The doctor concured
(which really says something about his condition because the
Drs and Angels are CONSTANTLY trying to get mothers to leave and get rest).
.
That's when I petitioned your prayers.
That's when I became FULL of hope.
FULL OF HOPE.
full.
of.
hope.
.
thank you for that.
.
I was literally FILLED with
COMPLETE and TOTAL
confirmation that my son was going to survive.
.
The spirit in that room was so thick I could taste it.
It became a part of me unitl I could literally feel it coursing through my veins.
.
I got right up in his face,
in a room full of people who were looking at my baby as if he were dead already,
and his momma told him what's what.
.
"You keep working son.
You do NOT quit.
You are strong enough to do this.
You are brave enough to do this.
I KNOW it's scary. I KNOW it's difficult.
.
But Son, here's the deal.
.
The Savior suffered this pain too so that he could be here for you now.
He is here with you.
And so am I.
And people all over the world are praying for you right this very second.
.
SO YOU CAN DO THIS.
.
You will be healed.
You WILL be made whole.
.
We need you.
We are a family, and we need you just as much as you need us.
Don't be afraid.
I am here."
.
And bam!
He started to improve.
Not immediately, but little by little over the night,
that tiny body fought.
and fought.
and fought.
.
And he had a win.
And at this point, any win is a significant one.
.
I had an epiphany in the middle of all this.
I learned a little about the effect our faith has on others.
When I spoke to my son in front of those angels with so much confidence,
their care for him changed.
Their shoulders squared and they rolled up their sleeves.
The entire feeling in the room changed from one dripping with despair
to one saturated with hope.
.
Things aren't so hot this morning.
We're talking another blood transfusion (or exchange rather).
Another heart echo.
and all kinds of other stuff that I decided I'd tune out at the moment for sanity's sake.
.
Right now we need to pray our souls out that his heart STAYS STRONG.
That's really all he's got going for him right now.
Which is HUGE.
We need that heart to stay strong and effective.
.
Thank you for staying with us through the long haul.
.
and guess what?
.
Richie lands in an hour.
:)

34 comments:

Emily Frame said...

this is such an amazing story. i have chills and tears and confirms the power of prayer & a mother's strength. i can only hope to be as strong as you if i'm ever faced with such an ordeal!

Jenn said...

oh nat!!! you are all in our prayers!!! we are fighting with gavin!!!

ashley said...

Your testimony is amazing, your amazing, and so is you family! I am so glad to hear Richie will be with you soon. Hang in there and know we have got your back! I will sending love and prayers your way constantly!

Jennifer Eileen said...

I'm praying out here in California. I went to bed with you and Gavin on my heart lifting you guys up and I felt that I was supposed to share this... My Pastor, Britt Merrick, did a sermon called 'When My Heart is Overwhelmed' concerning his 5 year old daughter who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Here's the link to the blog and a link to the sermon is on the right hand side. http://prayfordaisy.tumblr.com/ Be encouraged and know that we're all out here, praying along side you! Praise God He doesn't give us anything we can't handle.

Larry Reeves said...

Oh, Natalie, Richie and family...how we pray for you guys and hope and believe that everything will be ok. It was just a couple months ago that my cousin and his wife were there with their little one who ended up flying to Stanford for open-heart surgery at 9 days old. This brings back those memories. Our faith hopefully can contribute a small part to help Baby Gavin pull through this...I mean, he IS a Norton!! He's strong! You're all in our prayers...and I'm glad Richie will be there soon!

Sarah said...

Natalie I am so THRILLED that your wonderfully supportive husband will be with you soon. You guys need each other, and can get through ANYTHING. YOu are so strong. GO GAVIN!!!!

Natalee said...

Sweet Natalie,

My heart goes out to you and your family and especially your baby. We pray for him to be made whole. We pray that angels will continue to surround you and that when you need it most that you will continue to feel the love of Christ at this time. All our love,
Rex and Natalee Webb

Matt said...

It's been a while since I've checked in on your blog and I hated/loved reading this. I hate the fact that your little boy's not well, but love your perspective and faith through it all. I loved the visual of the nurses ... angels ... rolling up their sleeves and I pray for Gavin's improvement moment by moment!

Hang in there...you really do have prayers all from all over the world...

Matt

JLPierce Ohana said...

Thaanks for sharing this with us- your words help us have a small idea of what you are going through. We continue to send our thoughts and prayers

J,D and Little B said...

wow natalie.. how lucky Gavin is to have a strong mom like you. He will get through this because of you and your strength and your faith. We are still praying for you

Courtney Fries said...

Please know that you are not alone. Our newborn was hospitalized several months back and I remember standing over her at 4 weeks old in the icu telling her outloud to fight her little heart out. Gavin is so blessed to be surrounded by so many prayer warriors. Lean on them in the wee hours when you believe you can't take another ounce of heartache and know that Jesus is standing at the foot of his bed blanketing him in protection. We don't know each other personally, but I will be on my knees this afternoon speaking directly with our Lord to give Gavin a strong will to fight and for you to remain strong in heart. Much love to you.

liko said...

having richie there will help. the miracles of modern medicine and the gospel. keep writing as therapy. it helps. thanks for keeping us all updated.

Carly said...

Praying and thinking and hoping happy thoughts for you
-carly

Cheyenne said...

hi, a good friend (DMc) sent me your way, and i wanted you to know that there are good, healthy, sunny vibes coming your way from New England! your family will be in my thoughts - much love!

mandy said...

I love you Nat!

Rachael said...

We don't know each other personally. I have enjoyed your photography since I saw Heather post about it quite awhile back. But I want you to know that Gavin will continue to be in my prayers until he is well again. Your overwhelming faith will bring him through this Natalie. Don't give up hope no matter how bleak they make it sound.
All Gavin's are strong fighters you know. I also have a little boy named Gavin, he's moved mountains in the five years his been on earth. I would expect nothing less from your Gavin.
God has his hand on your family and on Gavin. Stay strong and know he has never left you no matter the outcome.
I am going to go hug my kids for awhile. God Bless you guys!

Tamara said...

Keeping your beautiful son and family in my prayers from here in Los Angeles. You don't know me but I follow your blog...sending lots of love your way. Stay strong!

luanne said...

Thinking and praying for you all. xoxo

Laura said...

What an amazing peptalk to your son. I hope you find some comfort in the arms of your husband and keep fighting through all of this. I am praying!!!

Michele Jorsling, said...

As another mother, on an island on the other side of the world , I am wishing you strength and love and for Gavin to recover fully.

shari berry bo-berry said...

Natalie, I admire your strength, determination and mostly your faith. We are still praying for Gavin... last night my 4-yr-old son said the dinner prayer, and i nudged him and reminded him to pray for baby Gavin. After the prayer, he asked, "Who's baby Gavin?" Which led to a quick teaching moment about prayer, and how it can even help people we don't know. Thank you for keeping us updated...

hugs from the OC

krista lucas photography said...

i'm definitely praying for all the hands that touch your baby boy, that they might work with confidence and help him fight. and i pray for you, that you might have the strength to help him fight. and for all those surrounding you, that you might draw strength and courage and faith from them.

Olivia said...

WOW.. Natalie, I can hardly read this through the tears. I am so in awe of your strength. Gavin truly gets his fighting spirit from his momma! This little guy is going to make it, and boy what a life he is going to live.

I am so glad that Richie is able to come back.

Prayers are still being sent and will continue to be sent even after you and your little guy get to sleep back in your own beds.

kim said...

im so sorry you guys!!!! you guys have tough little boys and you know hes going to fight this with all his little body has. hang in there. our prayers our with you.

Kerri said...

Natalie, I've been reading your blog and loving your pictures for what seems like eons now. I'm now praying for you and your little Gavin. And I know that big Gavin is looking out for him and for you.

Jill said...

praying like crazy for you. NICU is not a fun place but boy do those little bodies know how to fight. God is with him. I'll be continuing to pray for you and everyone surrounding your family.

a mermaid said...

we are praying for you- we love you- sending all the warmth and happiness from home!

Sell...Party Of 3 said...

Just found your blog through Kimmie...

Lots of tears were shed while reading through your posts. What an incredible Mother you are. Thank you for inspiring me.

I will be praying.

Love,
Evonne

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

Praying for Gavin. INTENSELY.

And for you too.

Anonymous said...

i am bawling and nearly speechless-but am praying for a MIRACLE THAT WILL FREAKING BLOW SOME MINDS!! He is an AWESOME GOD and is always faithful and working things together for good and His glory!! praying for you,your family,the nurses & doctors, and your little boy! he WILL be a miracle!!!!

Kelly said...

Prayers for you and your family from Houston...

Ashley said...

I heard about your situation from various tweets today and after I stopped by and read this post, I just couldn't help but comment. I don't even know you but you are such an amazing person. What you said to your son was one of the most amazing testimonies I've ever heard and I'm so glad you're not afraid to share it. Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us! We'll be praying for your beautiful son.

Chic Celebrations said...

As I pray for your son, I'm crying and begging that He will give you strength during this difficult time. Your story is truly one of courage. I will continue to check in for updates.

ukreal1 said...

Thinking, praying, hoping...for strength, courage, hope, life...
Pam. O. xxxxxxxx