27 January, 2010


I carried a baby blanket around with me all day.

Even wrapped the darn thing around my neck to disguise
it as a scarf (per a friend's suggestion).
Didn't work by the way.

It just looked like,
well, it looked like a baby blanket.

Tied around my neck.

Oh and by the way,

Well, that's a combination of
"baby blanket" and "scarf"
while simultaneously serving as a description
of what I looked like wearing it.


Sassy Salsa girl said...

Oh dear :) This did make me smile though :) More than once.

Hi! My name is Janet. said...

you're favorite. thanks for sharing so freely your heart. and i think your friend is a genius. :)

Ashleigh said...

dear nat,
in all your spare time i need you to make a button so i can post it on my blog.

Naihe Family said...

Keep sporting it girl! or maybe have someone make a purse or something cool out of it, so you can always have it.:) I would sew for you, but I am completely clueless. You and your family are in our prayers. Love you!

Windthicket Fables said...

You are a sweet thing. I admire you greatly.

Annie Link said...

I have been known to sleep under all of Gavin's clothes at one time. Thanks to you. Biggest thanks to you.
Call me,

Jeff A said...

Your faith is an inspiration. Please know that you and your family has been in my families prayers.

Natalie. said...

Um Mom, sleeping under all of Gavin's clothes. . . that have been sewn into a QUILT. . . nice. I love you.

stef j. said...


i think i'd call it a scarby.

Melony said...

Natalie....I just had to say that I don't know you, I know your friend Erin, but I've been reading here and you absolutely amaze me. Seriously, your attitude is wondrous and inspiring and makes me want to be better because I know I can. Thank you for that..bless you and yours.


Anonymous said...

i found your blog while searching for photography tips & found myself reading through some of your posts regarding your baby gavin. so so sorry for your loss. i had my first son 16 months ago & cannot imagine how hard it would be to lose a child. my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family....

Jacki said...

I think it's perfectly fine to wear the "barf". So much better than wearing real barf...

Chelsea said...

yes, agreed with jacki. by the title of the post i was worried you had been living in the real barf all day. so much better to be wearing the fashion kind of barf (a term you just coined, and is sure to be a hit, no?) in case you were wondering, i think it's absolutely FINE to wear that and hold it all day.

sevenalstons said...

I love it! Keep wearing that "barf" as long as you feel like it :) Better than what we have around here ~ three kids with a stomach bug... two more sure to get it = lots of the real thing!
On a different note, I hope you feel the love coming to you from New York state. I don't know you personally and yet I think you are amazing! Your family is in our prayers and will be for a long time to come.

Laura said...

Your humor and attitude can light up the world, Natalie! Thanks for sharing with all of us.

Tiffany said...

You don't me and I don't know you. But what I do know is that you are such an inspiration. I have read some of your previous blog posts and I am so envious of your courage and strength through one of the hardest things a mother can endure. Your faith in God definitely shows.
I just wanted to tell you that.
Don't worry what others think about your "barf". If it makes you feel better then so be it.
~Truly Inspired

shari berry bo-berry said...


Amy said...

I think it's a lovely fashion idea. And you know what? You do what it takes to get better, my dear, or at least create a new normal. You've been through a lot and if carrying a baby blanket and making it a "barf" makes you feel better, then you carry that barf. Hmm...that didn't sound right.

Shasta said...

I live in VA and a friend of yours who used to live in Hawaii sent me your blog so we could pray for you. At the time, I just had 2 little boys, 12 weeks early. Yes, I was playing pitty party with myself (not all the time...just once). Right before I read your blog I was upset that I couldn't have my little ones home with me, they were in the NICU for a long time and 1 still is. I do feel very grateful that I came across your blog when I did.
Although my boys were very early, they were given ALL of their immunizations when they weighed enough. I was a little upset by this and actually for .10 seconds wanted to wait on this because they were still small when the doctor said it was time for vaccinations. I was very upset that your little one didn't get the chance to be vaccinated because of his age. I am intrigued by what you say on your next posting of vaccinations. I am very intrigued to hear if an unvaccinated child had it and gave it or if and adult might have had something and gave it.
I am truly sorry for your loss. I pray(ed) for you even though I don't know you. I pray because we are both daughters of God who have been given unusual trials in our life. I know I feel strength from the prayers of others, even if I don't know them.
Before my babies were born I read, "Temple Worship: The Source of Strength and Power in Times of Need" by Elder Richard G. Scott. It was a great strength to me. My favorite quote was: When we keep the temple covenants we have made and when we live righteously … , we have no reason to worry or to feel despondent." I have written down my journey at http://incarceratedinthehospital.blogspot.com. If I ever make it out to Hawaii I would love to meet you. Please keep going on in this life. It is great, even though the pain is hard. "I never said it would be easy, I only say it would be worth it."
Hugs-a dear friend in VA

Ashley said...

If anyone can rock a "barf" its you. Plus you are in Hawaii....I have seen far weirder fashion choices.

Tina Vega said...

I'm sure you rocked that barf ;)

If you're interested, there's a lovely company in Minnesota called "Embellishing Bliss" that can create wearable items and more (purses, pillows, pins, blankets, etc.) with a loved one's items. Here's the link to the site: http://embellishingbliss.com/index.php

Ams said...

You probably looked good doing it though...
Sweet lady! You made me smile today!

Lindsey Shaun Christensen said...

a barf. i would wear the barf. natalie. hang on. you inspire. you give me strength.

Shannon said...

I just have to say it is so inspiring that even during such a hard time, you continuously make others smile. That is indeed a gift, my dear.

Windthicket Fables said...

Hey, if you don't mind, i'd like you to come over to my blog. I've nominated you for an award.

Angela said...

I've been a follower for a few years now, somehow feeling connected to you, your photography, your stories... and since this has happened I feel so even more. I now hold my baby tighter at night, sometimes with tears in my eyes, and try to suck in the moment and feel every breath... just in case.

Thank you for sharing... everything.

Kirsten Alana said...

Dear Natalie, no one ever said a baby blanket couldn't be a scarf. Love and fashion have no hard and fast rules. It's up to the individual :-)

Also, one of my dear clients read about your story on my blog and specifically sent me a message asking me to pass this song along to you:
"Natalie Grant, Held"
The client's name is Lisa and she thought this song would encourage you. And she sends prayers.

At the same time, I thought of this song for you:
"The Valley Song, by Jars of Clay". Specifically, the version on their 2 disc live album is very very comforting to me in times of trial.

Much love.
Kirsten Alana

Sara said...

Keep wearing your barf and wear it proudly.

This post made me smile. And then I sobbed.

When I lost my son, I felt as if everything stopped. The world stopped. I don't have much that he actually touched - he was in the NICU the 5 days of his life. What I do have I am afraid to keep touching because I am afraid that his smell will disappear.

I am so glad that you have his blanket. Wear it well!

Jen R. said...

Hey, I found your blog from when Erin Nelson posted something about praying for Gavin on facebook. I also saw that you know Jesse Price, I'm friends with both of them from So Cal. I'm wondering if your husband is related to Chelsea Norton? Same nortons? She's from my neck of the woods too. Only now I live in Missouri. ANyways...that was a really long intro. Pretty much, I love you, I love your pictures, and the way you write. You're truly inspiring. :) And I promise I'm not a creepo. I've been reading your posts for about a month now but never was brave enough to comment. Well, now I commented! Ok, this is really rambly, I'm done!

Natalie. said...

Jen R.

Chelsea is my husband Richie's sis. :)

I'm glad you said hi! Now we're not strangers and you can comment whenever you want. :)


Rachel Clare said...

How how "barf=blanket+scarf/what I looked like" made me giggle. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face despite the tears from your other posts.