27 January, 2008

Happy Birthday Sweet Gavin.



Gav,

Sure do miss you little man.

I decided to throw you a party- Heaven knows you love a good party. . . er Jousting Tournament. . . Ok, so I won't be bringing sheet metal down to the beach like last year, and there won't be any bikes posing as noble steeds, but I will bring out your jousts and helmets just for old time's sake. It's sure to be a rockin' good time . . . anyhow. . .

I though it would be good for the boys. The party I mean. Its hard for them. Lincoln's oblivious. Cardon talks about you all the time, he pretends like all his toys were gifts from you. I guess they're more fun to play with that way. Makes sense. The other night I found Raleigh laying in bed weeping. Don't worry though, he's got more clarity than any of us. He cries and cries and then finds something wonderful to laugh at you over. He went to bed SO HAPPY in the end. He sleeps with that awful penguin you bought him at FAO Schwartz every night. I think ultimately he loved you most of all. His Unkie. . . you were all his, weren't you. . .

Yesterday I was in the cake aisle trying to pick you a cake mix. Couldn't remember what your favorite kind was. That's a lie. Certainly it's Jewel Cake, but that's too complicated to make . . . maybe if you were actually going to be at the party to enjoy it. Anyway, so I broke down in tears right there in aisle 9. The sobbing kind of tears that usually only come at night . . . in my room . . . after the kids are asleep.

Today in church I thought about you a lot. Then the congregation sang Families Can Be Together Forever to close. I cried, the sobbing kind again. But this time because my heart was happy . . . lonely. . . and happy. We really will be together, forever. Someday. I had to give the closing prayer in the meeting. Thanks for helping me calm down enough to speak. Thought you were sneaky. Never were quite sneaky enough to get past me.

Well, don't worry, the tears are all done for the day. I promise not to ruin your "black pantha pardy." But I sure do miss you.

I love you little man. SO MUCH!

Hey, pay mom and dad a visit for me today if you can. I know they'd love to know you were near.

Love you always and always and forever and ever! I am SO PROUD OF YOU.

Love,

Sis

Gavin David Link
January 27, 1986- June 17, 2007

10 comments:

Pierces said...

Beautiful.

shelly said...

I KNOW Gavin loved the party...I had one in my heart for him today. I celebrate him!

Julie & Captain said...

It's beautiful.

A sister's love never ends.

I hope he doesn't mind my brother crashing the party. Nate was a little older than Gavin, but has been gone much longer...

Thanks for sharing.

Heather said...

I will never forget when Gav asked a male calendar model if he actually got paid for that! haha! Love you Gav!!!!! xoxo

AJ said...

thank you for your words and reminder.

Jessica said...

Beautiful! I only met Gavin a couple times in Hawaii but he always made me laugh! We had
arm wrestling tournaments!

amanda said...

It brings tears to my eyes every time I read your comments about Gavin. Thank you for your beautiful words and the example you are of amazing strength and love.

Molly Bea said...

Nat, thanks for sharing that with all of us. I can't help but think of Trev and my brothers who have also beat us home. My brother's birthday is coming up next week and every year is hard...each of the fifteen to be exact. Gav is so lucky to have you as a sister. And so lucky to have little Raleigh as a nephew, they were probably best buds before we all got here! Thinking about you! Love you girl!

Lindsay Ross said...

I literally just started crying reading this, I would be an absolute mess singing families can be together forever too! its already an emotional song to begin with. you have a wonderful family Nat!

annie said...

All of January has been hard. This is the fourth time I've visited this post--and I am still without words. It's still just too close, but I'm going to try. I love you Natty. Gavin was/is so blessed to have you, and he KNEW it. He loved you so. Thank you for throwing him a party. I know he came: he wouldn't have missed it. Wish we ALL could have been there.