07 June, 2010

public service announcement: vaccination discussion.

this is not an open discussion on vaccinations.

just a couple of thoughts on the DISCUSSION of vaccinations in general.

just know, that no matter what I say below,
I love you.

I'm ABSOLUTELY not pinpointing anyone in particular!

I'm just publicly setting some boundaries,
because I feel like I owe that to myself and my tender soul.

  1. don't come up to me at church or the grocery store or the beach or the ladies room and try to talk to me about vaccinations. It's uncomfortable for me, and it makes me feel cornered.
  2. if you want to talk to me about vaccinations, please genuinely want to listen to me as well. most people who open the vaccination discussion are more interested in giving me their opinion on vaccinations and though they approach the discussion from the grounds of seeking to understand. . . 9 times out of 10 it's simply a way to open a dialog so that they can tell me all about how they feel about vaccines and why their opinion is right.
  3. don't assume that you know how I feel about childhood vaccines. I have not openly discussed this topic other than with close friends and family members.
  4. if you want to ask me questions or tell me a thing or two about vaccinations, please just wait a little while. I am 100% happy to discuss this at a later date. The bottom line is that right now with all the mommying (grief stricken kids need a LOT more parenting than their free spirited counterparts), wifeyness (husbands hearts break too), shooting and all the business etcs (my release and often salvation) and regular grief and healing, I just don't have the TIME to address the subject in its entirety. When I do discuss the topic, I want to make sure I can do so comprehensively AND have time and energy for the backlash that is inherent to these types of discussions and thus is inevitable no matter how respectfully I approach the subject.
In the mean time,
THANK YOU for being patient with me.

If you see me in the bathroom, please just tell me that my fly is down.

and let's just save this discussion for a more appropriate time
when we can both give it the attention to detail that it deserves.

thank you dearies.

I really do love you.

xx.

Me

PS. Lame way to start your Monday.

I know.

I'll make it up to you, scouts honor!

29 comments:

sisterlu said...

Sweet friend that I've never met: I'm proud of you for gently but firmly setting boundaries to protect you and your family. You are doing a good thing. I pray for you daily.

Leslie Wilson, Charleston, SC

Deanna said...

People do this? *boggles* HOLY OUT OF BOUNDS, BATMAN.

I hope your upcoming trip is just awesome and that you and all your guys are well.

Stirlingdesigns said...

Natalie good for you for setting some boundaries and for being honest - so proud of you for taking care of yourself. Its not a lame way to start a Monday - you got this off your chest and I get it feels good! Hope you have a great week.

Shari said...

KUDOS to you Natalie! So smart for you to announce this...

I'm sorry for any uncomfortable or unpleasant conversations/discussions/lectures you've been cornered into!!!

xo,

shari from HB

Rae said...

I don't think this is lame at all, even for Monday--I think it's good--important--that you are setting emotional boundaries and asking that in-depth discussions be put aside until you've dealt with the matters at hand! I admire you.

Kristin said...

Boundaries are good when you want to heal. You'd do the same for yourself or a loved one that was recently injured or home from surgery, wouldn't you? Broken hearts need them too.

Hugs and prayers to you Natalie!

Watson Family said...

Good for you, Nat! How about this... just give us all encouragement to loose weight and get in shape like you... give us a few of your quick tips! I'm eager to hear how you did it. And good for you on focusing on the most important things.... your FAMILY! XO

Heather said...

That is not at all lame! Good for you for setting up some boundaries. I still can't believe people do that.

Wishing you and your cute family all the best :)

Emma said...

Good for you. Boundaries are so hard to set, what an example you are of being able to lovingly, firmly set them up. Thank you.

Truly Silkes said...

Oh my goodness, I can't believe you had to sit down and write this. Hard to imagine people are doing this to you.

No more corners and a always a good functioning zipper for Natalie!

Sarah said...

Love you and so proud of you. I hope you have a great trip Natalie. I know there are so many peeps to see in Ut, but if you get the time Aaron and the kids and I would LOVe to see you all. And we won't talk about vaccinations either. :) xoxoxo

jaime said...

you are PERFECT!!!! I mean this in the way that lets you know... i simply adore YOU!!! in every way possible!!!

Anonymous said...

I learn from you every time I open this blog. Thank you.

FootPrints said...

you do what you need to do for you and your ohana. it's really none of our business anyway.
perfectly said!

Melody said...

Yesterday when I got back from a shoot in the park I had to pee soooooo bad so I ran into the bathroom and my fly was already down. How convenient for me.

Anonymous said...

If people want to talk about this or find out about vaccinations there are plenty of very informative resources. I am one who after coming across your blog was so touched I NEEDED to know more and even wrote a term paper on the topic. You were thrown into this flurry of debate..it doesn't mean you need to be the expert people go to. I am sorry for you that people are not already aware of boundaries that come with the grief you are enduring - but good for you for setting them!

alisa greig said...

extremely well said as always--huge hugs :)

stephaniewellsphotography.com said...

what often gets me is the lack of respect people have for other peoples opinions. yours is yours for whatever reason. as is mine. i understand the emotions of it all but i don't understand the disrespectful nature people have when it comes to having what they consider a "conversation".

Brady and Rachel said...

Thank you for being honest. Safe travels guys! xoxo

Laura said...

I went to the doc to get my adult pertussis vaccination. They said they couldn't give it to me because I was nursing. When I got out to the car, I teared up. I wanted to do it for you, your sweet Gavin, for me, and for my sweet girl, and to help protect all babies. I know I still can in a few months, I just had the resolve to do it and I was sad that I couldn't!

I am glad you posted this, though I am looking forward to hearing YOUR opinion on vaccinations, I understand that you need to take your time and think of the people in your life first!!

Love.

Natalie. said...

Laura,

Nursing mothers receive that shot all the time. Many postpartum even before they head home from the hospital with their newborn!

Because the vaccine is relatively new, many doctors and nurses aren't well educated on the vaccine and where it is contraindicated and where it is not.

Zero pressure on my end,just wanted to make you aware.

THANK YOU for honoring our family by doing this. It is so remarkably important.

All my love,

Natalie

kimsueellen said...

I heart you. I would love to give you a hug right now. So sorry you are having to deal with some insensitivity when the grief is still so fresh. Prayers and thoughts still coming at you each and every day. xo

Summer's World said...

Perfectly, perfectly, perfectly reasonable request! Perfectly.

Naomi Costales said...

Well said my friend across the miles who knows the shoes I've worn. God Bless You!!

Ale, Chuck & Sebas said...

well done.

Susan said...

You know, I don't think it's wrong of you to never discuss it if you don't want to. I mean, I'm sure it brings up feelings that aren't too comfortable, and being bombarded is like a huge invasion of your privacy. I think sometimes people think that because you express your feelings so openly, that they can say whatever they want because it's an open "discussion" without any regard or thought about time and place, or your feelings for that matter.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having this problem, but I do admire your courage. You are a good person. You should never feel bad for taking care of yourself and those whom you love. You're a rad girl, but your fly is down. :)

Whitney Hardie said...

Natalie,

I only want to say this about vaccinations:

You inspired me to get mine.

At first I didn't want to do it, but your story changed my mind.

Thank you for being so open and honest, so real.

Juliana Taylor said...

After reading your blog, I went and got ALL of my vaccines. I didn't realize so many of them had to have boosters; infact, I pretty much just got them all over again. It was worth it to protect my family!

Thanks for the information you share.

Yvette said...

One of my closest friends is pregnant with her third. Because of your story I asked her to talk to her OBGYN regarding the pertussis vaccine. No one should have to go through heartbreak of losing a child. Thank you for sharing your story, Natalie. If it were not for you I would not have thought twice about a Dtap booster for me or my pregnant friend. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.