20 April, 2010

up to my neck in magic.

I read something this morning that moved me to my core:

(among other things, this quote makes me particularly excited about the workshops! mind blowing things coming with those people. A couple of seats open in Seattle if you're interested.)

"Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not that one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one's ideas, to take a calculated risk- and to act"
- Andre Malraux

the bottom line is,
I am neck deep in magic.

and madness.

I'm working on millions of projects simultaneously.
. . . each of which really could be a full time job in and of itself.

Some of which are purely awesome and wonderful.

Some of which scare the dung out of me,
and have a high probability of landing me flat on my chubby kiester.


though I will
proudly mention that said kiester
is in fact 32 lbs lighter than it was only a few short months ago.

(as I've mentioned before, baby fat + no baby = insult.to.injury
and also = plenty of incentive to
work hard and get healthy, quick).


despite the risk, all these projects make me feel

alive and
excited beyond words.

It's time.

and I'm brave.

I've been proving that to myself
since that dreaded one.

and I'm only a little shy to tell you how proud of myself that makes me.


feeling thankful that I inherently have a high tolerance for risk
and. . . still feeling the weight of the scaries I'm consciously walking right into.

but again, it's time.

and I'm brave.

loving the ends.
loving the new beginnings.

welcoming it all.



PS. hey YOU, go for it!


Kristen said...

I hear you on the weight issue. It was my first and we moved right after, so nobody knew the "before" me and it was horrible. Talk about motivation! Congrats, it still takes a LOT of work to lose it, and emotional all the same. You rock!

Rach said...

TOTALLY awesome picture. And I am super excited about your workshops & all the fun adventures that you're doing. And seriously you look FABULOUS!! You'll have to teach me the ways to drop the fat fast!! YEAH for you YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!

Kerri said...

It's super scary to go for it. Are you sure I should? Maybe I'd be better off hiding in bed.


Thanks for the kick in the behind. Much much needed, to be honest.

Amelia Poll said...

Very inspiring post.

I am one who heard about baby Gavin through a friend, and I have kind of stuck around...I hope that's OK.

This post reminded me of a saying we have in our family, which is: "We can do hard things." You have been asked to do one of the hardest things, and everyday brings a new challenge to face with bravery, and the Lord. And, it's also OK to not do so well on some days, just as long as we don't ever give up, which clearly, you never will.

Thanks for brightening my day.

Bridget said...

Yes, you are brave. Way to go on getting in shape.

Buckland Family said...

Natalie, I know I say it every time that I comment but I think that you are awesomely amazing! You motivate me. You inspire me. You make me hope that I am as brave as you if I ever have to go through the nightmare that you have had to go through (which i pray I wont ever have to) You make me want to be a better person each and every day. I pray for you and hope that your heart will heal a little each and every day. Thank you for the great example that you have been to me. I heart you!

Marie Rose said...

I don't know how you do what you do but YOU.ARE.AWESOME! I'm in awe of you completely 100%! You Go Girl!

algreig said...

i too, am loving the ends and the new beginnings :) thank you.

Heather said...

comming here (to your blog) makes me happy :)

Ryan Armstrong said...

I can have a really icky day, but reading your posts gives me feeling. You have a way with words... and a presence in life! :)

Heather said...

Aren't Erin and Aaron so hot?

Ashley said...

Congrats on being 32 lbs lighter! Thats amazing. I can't wait to hear what you have up your sleeve.

shelly said...

LOVE the pictures of Aaron and Erin! And you KNOW how impressed I am for all that weight loss! You're my hero!

Arica said...

aww, i love my aerins! they are some dang good friends to me, and how i miss them. those are some lovely photos. ps. you're so brave, i know you can kick butt each new day that you get. (:

Susan said...

Natalie, you amaze me. How can we be so far apart, have never met, and yet you are tuned in enough to know what I need to hear exactly at the right time. I've been feeling so doubtful about venturing in to my photography, because well, I didn't go to school to learn it, and I'm just starting out.

The quote calmed my worries, and made me realize, even if it is just right now, that I CAN do it. It's up to ME and my own belief in and desire to grow my abilities.

Thank you for this post. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much.

And P.S. Way to go on losing the 32 LBS!

Rebekah said...

Thank you. Thank you for sharing your pain, and now for sharing your strength. You help give me hope that if I have to go through really difficult times God will bring me through it, and stronger.
I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I love your heart, and I pray for you and your family, and I'm very proud of you.

Brady and Rachel said...

Nat Good for YOU!! And you should be so proud of yourself. Thank you for the reminder that I need to be proud of the things I accomplish. I find myself degrading the things I do accomplish, and it is usually my husband who reminds me that I should feel much more accomplished than I do. I'm training for a marathon right now, I never liked running before, ....EVER. So when I get back on a Saturday from running 15 miles + I need to be more proud of myself. It really is a great accomplishment I think. Thanks for reminding me. :) xoxo

Kristy said...

Natalie, I can;t even remember how I found your blog. But I made my way here & I am so inspired by your beauty & strength. I am not sure if you have ever been to Sheye Rosemeyer's site? She is a photographer in Australia who lost here little girl a few years back. She writes about her grieve so real it has a way of helping heal the others grieving. I took a photography class with her & her motto is....
Thought it was very fitting to your post :)
Hugs to you for all you have been through & the strength you still have & give to others.

amyp said...

Every day I read your words. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I find more hope than I came with. Sometimes I just grieve with you. And most every time I'm inspired. And I leave even more grateful for the things I would have overlooked. Thank you for being brave. And transparent. And beautiful. And loving. For in your transparency, you've breathed more life into people like me. And I thank God for you on a daily basis.

Melissa said...

Oh Natalie...I needed this now! In so many ways, I'm scared to pieces, in so many ways, I'm more excited than I have been about anything else before in life. I feel completely crazy and unprepared and out-on-a-limb, but if you can do it, then I just have to tell myself that Jon and I can do it. Thanks so much for the reminder that we're not the only crazies out there!! and p.s. this totally makes me want to go to your workshops even more, if that was even possible.