03 February, 2010

ate a red pepper.

ate a red pepper.

went for a walk.

and thought about Sara. . .
and Bronson. . .
and Matt. . .
and big brothers.

snuggled my boys closer
(who knew that was even possible??).

praying praying praying.

____________________________

Is this what it felt like to be you?

Praying for me?

Praying for me and my sweet son?

. . . then thank you.

More now than ever.

because now,
I can FEEL the love with which your prayers were offered.

to.my.very.core.

and there are no words.

No words outside of
thank you
.

21 comments:

tammy said...

Just read all of Sara's posts about Bronson. So emotional! I am so hoping and praying for a full recovery for Bronson! And for healing for Sara--She only did what I do several hundred times a day--got side tracked for a second. It could happen to anyone.

I also think of you and Gavin several hundred times a day--prayers for you as well!

Joy said...

Natalie - you are the most beautiful soul I "know". You inspire me to be better, live better, love better.

xx

wewantedtheirwings said...

& I'd do it again a thousand times over, for you & for Sara. & for anyone else who needs love & prayers. God does amazing things with hearts. He makes them big enough to survive almost anything...He made it so when our hearts are empty & full of sorrow, they can be filled by the hearts of others who have enough to share. God is so good. All the time.

& you are so beautiful. All the time.
xx

shari berry bo-berry said...

natalie words cannot express my admiration for you.

please just know that you are loved and are probably one of my favorite people on the planet...

xoxo from HB

Jackie Lee said...

being on the sidelines, waiting anxiously for any blog update, hitting the refresh page like there's no tomorrow. Sending prayers like crazy. wanting to throw myself into my computer like some crazy A-ha video and just scoop up Gavin and give you the biggest hug. And then the soul crushing silence before your posting about Gavin's passing. I was there. In that room with you. We all were. Just as we are for Sara now. But, your words connected us to your pain. Just like Sara's do now. So, thank you for pouring out your heart and trusting complete strangers to uplift you. I'm so glad we didn't fail you.

rubelphotography said...

Still thinking about you, still praying for you, still amazed by you.

Summer's World said...

Yes. It hurts a little to pray for someone (you, Sara) like that, but only b/c we're feeling an inkling of what you are. Praying again. Hard for her too!

ashley said...

I want to thank you for being so open with us. You have taken your experiences and shared so we could all grow with you. You are so brave.

Kelly said...

Absolutely how it feels. And it's wonderful to lift you and your family up in prayer, and now Sara and her family as well. Love to you and your family. Blessings to you all.

The Benches said...

Hi Natalie. You don't know me...I am Sara's cousin. My other cousin refered me to your blog. I just spent a while reading it. You are truly an inspirational person and I thank you for sharing your words. Also, thank you for praying Bronson.

It's interesting. I have a neighbor named Peni Norman. I think you know her. She told me about your situation with your sweet Gavin last month. We prayed for you. My little family here in Lehi, Utah. We prayed for you and your little family...and now you are praying for ours. It's interesting. What goes around does come around.

Thanks again for your words and prayers. You are loved. Even by those that don't know you, but who are touched by your story and your faith.

Sabrina said...

Continued prayers for your healing and comfort, as well as for Sara and Bronson, Matt, and the boys. I will be praying for Bronson's continued improvement, and that he will be home with his family soon. God is merciful and powerful!

Gibson Gang said...

Read (and sobbed) through little Bronson's family blog... then I realized that I know some of their family (I've had yoga classes with her sister in-law and our boys have had some play groups), small world. My heart truly aches for them - what a wake-up call to us mommies. He's in my every thought and prayer. Thank you for sharing. My prayers are also with you.

tara said...

prayed for Sara, Bronson and their family and yours again last night as I snuggled with my boys. Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

A friend posted a link to your blog and I've been following your story and praying for you.

I feel compelled to share this with you. Shortly after I started reading, I came down with what I thought was a cold. But because I've read your blog, pertussis was on my radar. I researched it. My symptoms matched. I went to the doctor. Diagnosis: pertussis.

If I hadn't read your son's story, I might have just assumed I had a nasty cold and carried on with everything, exposing God-knows-how-many babies and other vulnerable people to pertussis. I've taken two rounds of antibiotics, but I'm still quarantining myself until my symptoms clear because the thought that I could unknowingly cause a baby to suffer like your little guy did terrifies me.

So thank you for sharing your story, and increasing awareness about the still very real threat of infectious diseases.

Natalie. said...

anonymous,

THANK YOU for sharing this with me. Oh my goodness. What a tremendous blessing you have given me. Knowing that somehow I might have in some small way helped protect someone else from suffering. Oh. My happy soul.

thank YOU so much for being SO RESPONSIBLE!!!! God bless you!

I just wanted to let you know that the likleyhood of you being contagious after two rounds of the antibiotic is very low (probably impossible) . . . and also, they call pertussis the 90 day cough. . . so it's unlikely you can quarantine yourself for that long. Just remember, that even if you're still exhibiting symptoms, you are most likely NOT still contagious. You will likely be coughing for months. Just be extraordinarily cautious and you should be fine out and about. Wash hands, don't hold babies etc. :)

Talk to your doctor and see what they recommend as far as quarantine. I'm certain it's no longer necessary.

The disease is thankfully not vicious for adults. I hope you're feeling better soon. I am SO sorry you're sick. and a MILLION TRILLION TIMES, THANK YOU for being a responsible citizen.

TRULY.AND.DEEPLY.

You deserve some kind of metal.

Love,

Natalie

Junior and Marissa Shum said...

Natalie, thank-you for the posts about Sara. We were in the same ward briefly and it broke my heart to read what was going on. My prayers are with them as they continue to be with you. You are truly such an example to me. You have taken your tragedy and used it to uplift and bless the lives of so many others. Thank you!

Chanique said...

Don't know if you've seen this: http://photographymathieu.blogspot.com/2010/01/charlotte-june.html
Thought you might like to

Kerri said...

Yes yes and yes, that is how it felt to pray for you. And I've been praying for Sara and Bronson now, too.

Natalie. said...

thank you chantique. :)

julie said...

I'm in Sara's ward here in provo. When this happened I thought of you. and what you and your family have/are going through. Bless you for giving such love and support.

Bless you for understanding.

Kristine from Canada said...

Prayers still coming to help you get thru the harder days and many prayers for Sara and her family
so many prayers