06 January, 2010

enough is ENOUGH.

Make no mistake about it,
despite the "realities" I'm bombarded with on a daily basis,
I know my son is leaving this hospital a vision of health,
but in the interim his condition is absolute
torture to observe.
I'm just desperate to offer him some sort of relief.
That's my singular JOB as a mother, right?
To protect and comfort my child.
But I couldn't protect him and now I can't comfort him
and that's an absolutely miserable way to feel.
He's currently so completely swollen that
they call him the Michelin Baby. . .
I have to say that I think the nickname
is the understatement of the century.
His skin is just so taut that it looks like it could literally
tear open at any given moment.
His eyes look like he has those ginormous marshmellows
tucked up under their lids.
It's so bad that I'm not posting a picture
because I'm afraid it is just too disturbing.
He bears NO semblance to his former self.
Sometimes I cry because I'm afraid
I'm forgetting what he looks like.
He's in a lot of danger if his vascular system
doesn't get it's act together and kick it
into high gear pretty soon here.
He's just so deathly ill that he's got these leaky veins
and because of that
fluid is leaking into his tissues making him swell.
Normally they administer a drug called Lasix,
which is a diuretic designed to increase the body's excretion of urine.
Unfortunately this drug is causing
Gavin's blood pressure to dip dangerously low.
soooo. . .
we just need to invest our prayers and faith
into his body figuring this out on its own.
So again, let's all
aaaaand of course healthy heart functioning.
So far his heart has been hanging in there,
but in yesterday's echocardiogram we
saw a little distress. . .
hoping that AWESOME plasma exchange will help with that!
Alllllllll that said:
God is with us!
We are being carried through with courage,
confidence and strength.
God is good!
Thank you. A trillion times over.
Aaaand one more time,
just for good measure:
**While I've gotcha here,
please say a little prayer for 7 month old baby Blake
who was inadvertently given a perscription of VALIUM
by the pharmacy instead of his cold med!**
**And one more for 10 year old Ashly
who was hit by a car yesterday morning
(right in front of her sweet mother)
on her way to school**
Seems like everyone around us needs a prayer and a miracle.
Happily there's definitely a surplus of both!
A million loves!


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Michelle O said...

I'm nervous...no new update this morning :(

Aloicoius said...

Just linked over from Jon Canlass' blog and wanted to let you know I'm praying for you and your baby.

The Garner Family said...

Natalie - your positivity through this all is ridiculously inspiring.
I can't even imagine how hard this is on you and your family but I have full faith that YOUR faith is pulling this little boy through!
I am praying for all of you, your family, doctors, nurses and especially that sweet little Gavin.

Ashley said...

Your family and Gavin are in my prayers. I couldn't help but think of you each time my baby woke up last night. I know how hard it can be to sleep when your baby is in the ICU even though you need it so bad, so each time I crawled back into bed I said another prayer. You are such a great example of faith. Thank you!

Kristie said...

Praying for Gavin (((HUGS)))

Barb said...

Praying for Gavin (and Blake and Ashly) today. Praying for you, that you can feel peace and strength and continue to have the Spirit close to you. While reading your blog, I have felt the Spirit witness to me that your experiences with the Holy Ghost are true and I KNOW that your personal revelation will come to pass. I pray it will come soon.

preitygirl said...

I found your sight today through a facebook friend. I do not know you but my heart goes out to you. I read your story and tears just came. I have a new baby so things just hit close to home! Prayers are the only things that get you through sometimes. Hold on to that strength, prayers and faith will pull you through! My husband died 7 years ago when I was 22! I never knew the power of prayer until that moment! The lord will bless you and watch over you no matter what! Keep your strength, it is amazing and baby gavin needs it! We will pray for PEE!

Lu from Brazil said...

Guardian Angel Prayer

Angel of God,
My Guardian Dear
to whom God's love
commits me here.

Ever this day be at my side
to light and guard and rule and guide.


Desiree' said...

I posted a note on facebook, but just wanted to express my love and support on your blog as well. I had no idea you guys were going through this until I saw Naomi in the hospital when I was there visiting another friend whose baby is in the NICU. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm in awe of your faith and your strength through all of this. I think it's amazing that you're able to see your blessings during your hardest of trials. We all love you and are praying for Gavin and the entire family. Please let me know if there is anything at all that I can do to help! Loves!

Photography by Valerie said...

sending prayers up gor baby Gavin. God says that by his stripes we are healed. Stay faithful and be encouraged. The tide will turn and soon your baby boy will be home.

Shelly Wutke said...

I've been checking in over and over again since last night, and I am praying that he's ok. Huge hugs from Canada to you and your entire family.

The Tesimales said...

Gavin has stregthened my testimony so much. C'mon little one. We are all praying for you. Just like the little engine that could. I think I can I think I can... I thought about you all night and have been praying. All of the Tesimale love...

Eugene said...

Sending prayers and hugs to the little wonder from the mainland.

Frances said...

Praying in earnest for little Gavin, Blake and Ashly.

Jimbo said...

I heard this quote once...

"The important thing is not that we can live on hope alone, but that life is not worth living without it."

I hope and pray that everything with Gavin gets better.

Praying from Nashville, TN.

Cotter said...

Praying for Gavin and the rest of your family. Holding my little ones a little tighter today.

mnB said...

sending our love & prayers to you and your family xoxoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Dear you all. Just read about your dear little one's disease. I have some idea of what you are going through as my two darlig daughters both developed asthma within their first year. It did not look all that well but I want to bring light and strength to you when I tell you that my older, now 13, is a girl scout and a handball player, and my little one, now 4 (and almost half, she would tell you with a proud grin) is an avid trekker. You guys will overcome and pull through. I sincerely beleave so, I have seen much strength delivered in small packages.
Love to you all

Bjorgolfur Havardsson - Norway

sharon said...

Dear Natalie,
God Bless and All the best to you and your family. May you feel peace and comfort in your heart again.

Skye said...

I am heartbroken for you. I can't even imagine. I pray that you will be comforted by our Saviors love. I'm so sorry.

Jennifer Allison said...

Gavin is going to more than fine! i know it.

Anonymous said...

Oh my heart. I needed to read your posts. Thanks so much for sharing your faith and your love. God bless.

Eye hath not seen nor ear heard the things that He has prepared for those that love him.

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