Pics and Kicks

out with the old!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-30T13:15:00.004-10:00

yo party people!

turn on this song and then meet me on the new blog!

xx!

Me

PS. Melissa won the consult!
(don't worry, I made sure not do count the duplicate entries)

Melissa,

Email me at natalienorton [at] gmail [dot] com
and we'll schedule your consult!

Be sure to let me know who referred you so they can win too!

YAY!

Peace out homies!

N

Giveaway: Free photo consultation (or two)!

2010-08-23T21:02:00.007-10:00

I want to give something away. . .

perhaaaaaaps. . .
to blind you from the fact that I'm taking my pretty little time
building content for the new blog. :)

perhaps.

so,
I'm giving away a free 1 hour photo consultation!

a $120 value!
YOURS FOR THE BARGAIN PRICE OF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

We can discuss anything you wish!

photo critique.
technical help.
branding.
marketing.
building your portfolio.
post processing.
workflow.
flash.
natural light.
the purpose of life.

whatever makes you happy.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A PROFESSIONAL TO ENTER!
If you ARE, awesome. But it's not a deal killer if you aren't.
I'd LOVE to help you "just get better pictures of the kids"!

To Enter:

comment with your name (if there's no link back to your name, I need an email so I can contact you in the event that you win the consultation).
tell your friends via twitter, facebook, blog post and all the etcs because guess what!? I just decided (yes, just this second) that if the winner was referred here by a friend, I'll give that person a free consultation as well! woot woot woot!
winner will be chosen at random (thank you random.org), Friday at 4pm Hawaii time.

Now, I am saying "see you later alligator" to this old blog
and won't be back until content is built and the new blog is ready to launch!

Good luck!

I hope YOU win! ;)

xx,

Me

Natalie Norton: guest judge www.iheartfaces.com!

2010-08-23T18:00:00.001-10:00

I'm a guest judge this week over at i heart faces!

The theme for the photo contest is
"beach fun."

Enter by Tuesday night (8.24) at 9pm CST
to be considered in the contest!

Can't wait to see all your awesomeness!

xx!

Me

air.

2010-08-23T00:02:00.002-10:00

air.

off today dealing with this.

you don't know what a beautiful thing it is to be able to breathe. . .

until you can't.

I've been dealing with a ridiculous "shortness of breath"

issue for nearly 3 weeks now.

makes life miserable and my new training program torturous.

we've treated it like asthma.

no change.

like anxiety.

nada.

I've approached it with meditation, prayer, magnesium.

still.no.air.

so today, my doctor is insisting on a PFT

(pulmonary function test).

I'm going along with it, but I'm sure it's going to be a dead end.

I'm still hung up on the anxiety diagnosis.

I think that's the problem.

but one way or another.

take a big deep breath for me today and I'll see you tomorrow.

prayerfully, on a new blog.

xx!

EIGHT years ago today.

2010-08-20T09:06:00.002-10:00

I married this guy 8 years ago today.

(I know, he looks like he's 14)

He had just turned 22, I had just turned 21,

and we had known each other for a whopping 2 months.

true story.

Yesterday we were sitting on the back porch,

chatting about how crazy we were and Richie said:

"You know, had I known then what I know now,

I would have married you even faster than that."

and all I could say to that is a resounding "ME TOO, ABSOLUTELY!"

These 8 years have been blissful. . .

annnnnd, they've been like the refiner's fire in so many ways.

Not in regards to our marriage, AT ALL.

but in regards to the craziest life circumstances you could possibly imagine,

in your very wildest dreams, ever.

all crammed into this short little window of life.

and yet today,

looking back,

I can honestly say now that I'm grateful for all of it.

and I am so thankful to have held YOUR hand along the way and no one else's.

I love you Richie.

yours forever,

Nat Nat

PS. I'm off for the day celebrating us.

Tomorrow I've got an exciting wedding in Kailua,

soooo I'll see you next week. . .

hopefully with the launch of the new blog!

hopefully.

running shoes.

2010-08-18T20:13:00.003-10:00

Today.

I found one of my running shoes lying alone in the driveway.
it's partner was nowhere to be found.

Lincoln tells me that he threw them outside
(for reasons currently unknown).

Me:

Lincoln, mommy really needs to find my other shoe
or I'm not going to be able to practice and I'm going to lose my race.

Lincoln:
(really concerned face then, BAM! light bulb!)

Mommy!
You can just hop really really fast!

Nice.

Thank you Lincoln.

I'll do that.

______________________

thank you all so much for your encouragement and running tips.

I'm happy to report that I actually did it.

Monday, I ran 3 consecutive miles!
well, I did walk 2 small hills for less than 1 min each.

I was bewildered by my ability to do this.

truly stunned.

not to say it was at all pleasant.

no.

I'm quite certain there were 3 or 4 times when I actually
HOPED a car would take me out and save me from my misery.

Tuesday was a resting day.

Today, I miraculously did it again!

Tomorrow:

FOUR.MILES.

Seriously.

To be totally transparent:
I'm freaking out of my mind.

Allllllll that said,
honestly thank you.

Your tips and encouragement truly gave me courage.

So many of you expressed the reality that it's all a mental game.
I can now attest to that as well,
because when I said earlier that there was no way I could EVER,
EVER run 3 miles,
I wasn't being modest.

It was quite literally, physically impossible. . .
and yet. . .

wow.

I'm amazed and can't help but mention the parallel to life in general.

I'm consistently CONVINCED that I just CAN'T do this or that,
and yet. . .

hmmmmmm.

lots of love and happy Wednesday!

N

If you get a sec, there was an article written about baby gavin
in the honolulu advertiser. check it out here.
we'd love your comments.
:)

pretty patty.

2010-08-17T15:24:00.001-10:00

ok guys, guess what?

that sexy blond?

is Richie's grandma.

owwwwwww!

she's still gorgeous and glamorous as ever!

because I'm crazy.

2010-08-15T19:21:00.003-10:00

(alternate title, "because I'm on crack")

I did it.
I signed up for the Gunstock Ranch 1/2 marathon.
again, because I'm crazy.
(or perhaps just high as a kite)

I'm a week behind in the standard 12 week training program,
and tomorrow I start with a 3 mile run.

(I ask you, how is this a beginning training program
if it starts with a freaking 3 mile run?
. . . but I digress)

I'm 100% certain, that I cannot run 3 miles.

100% certain.

(read: there is no way in h.e.double-hockey-sticks
that I can run 3 consecutive miles tomorrow)

and the only reason I'm telling you all this is
because I know once the whole world knows,
I'll be too prideful to quit.

the end.

want to run the race October 30th?
register here.

oh and PS.
I'm open to ANY and ALL tips you have for me.

I = NOT.A.RUNNER.

and then we called 911.

2010-08-13T08:31:00.005-10:00

This morning.

was beautiful.

5am smelled like rain and freshly cut grass
and not like "urgh, hit snooze."

and then, Lincoln woke up.

and swallowed a penny.

and life went all crazy pants.

and suddenly I was on my knees in front of him,
praying with all of my soul. . .

PLEASE! not again. PLEASE!

but my face was calm as Heaven itself.
(That gift of calm in crisis is inherent and comes from my mom. . .).

and then he started talking and breathing (and whimpering).

HE WAS TALKING. . .
and BREATHING.

and after a short fiasco with the paramedics and then the ER,
all is well.

and my heart is FILLED with gratitude.
because, I cannot do another gavin ever again.

ever.again.

oh and ps. I'm told that that bubble around the demon penny,
is a fart.

life, hope and love.

2010-08-13T06:12:00.002-10:00

I was so moved by this video.
To my very core.

Tears flowed freely
as I listened and learned
about life, hope and the enduring love of God.

10 + 10 = school sucks (in alphabetical order).

2010-08-12T09:11:00.007-10:00

Post edited to include: Please don't wrongly assume that this post is directed at my children's school, Laie Elementary. I LOVE Laie Elementary and the wonderful teachers there. This post was triggered by a general observation of the state of the public education system as a whole, watching too much news while on the mainland and many fascinating discussions with friends (who are MUCH smarter than I. . . than me. . . than I. . . see what I mean?).

If you don't want to read through my whole train-of-thought rant,
I'd still love your opinion on THIS:

How do you make sure your kids
get the best they can from public education?

______________________

I just want my kids to feel smart
(THEY ARE)

I just want my kids to develop their own unique creativity
(IT AMAZES ME!)

I just want my kids to think independently
(THEY'RE SMARTER, AND MORE INNOVATIVE, THAN ME . . .
TIMES 47 BILLION)

I just want my kids to be confident in who they are inhernetly
(THEY'RE COOLER THAN ANYONE ELSE I KNOW)

Is that too much to ask??

apparently so.
. . . .
A lot of my problems with public school
are chalked up as being "just a normal part of growing up."

give.me.a.break.

since when is a 2nd grader's ability to write a word (neatly)
20 times more indicative of his ability to spell it
than just repeating it correctly a few times orally?

How does that activity nurture a true and lasting love of learning?
(particularly when the kid is clearly maxed out and miserable . . .)

how does forcing a kindergartner to color PERFECTLY within the lines
say anything about his intellect?

Particularly if the kindergartner HATES coloring.

and don't you dare go on and on about learning fine motor skills.

there are clearly other ways to encourage proper fine motor development
that won't SQUASH the child's eventual love of writing.

How does holding a kid back from recess
because she didn't finish her math as quickly as her peers . . .
do ANYTHING constructive for ANYONE?!

I could go on.
and on.
and on.
and on.

. . . .

just because WE grew up in a broken system,
that doesn't make it normal.

what I see
(now that I'm looking with my own two eyes
and not through the bottle thick glasses I wore through my public education k-12)
is NOT anywhere in sight of "normal."

and at the very least. . . it sure doesn't have to be.

I'm not here to bag on government.
or teachers.
or administrators.
or parents.

except that I am in fact going to bag on everyone,
just a little.

because for crying out loud,
WE.ARE.BROKEN.

and it's all our fault (collectively).

government, I don't know what to say to you.
though if I did, it might sound something like "lay off!" . . . ???

you act like because you give us money,
you get to control us. . .

wasn't it our own money to begin with?!

teachers, where has your passion gone?!
(because I know you didn't get into this for the money)

and don't blame it on government restrictions,
or lack of funding.

Last I checked, passion came from WITHIN
(the majority portion of which is choice based, trust me)
and is born from the love and respect you have
for the children who need you
(even if you secretly want to hit them upside the head,
and again, trust me, I know a lot of them could probably use it).

Administrators. . .
I've been told that you are the children's advocates.

act like it.

cut our teachers (and parents) some slack and let them
do the job (that I truly believe many of them were BORN to do)
the way it needs to be done.
(they way only THEY can do it, because they're amazing!)

Parents,
get in there.

even if your kid's teacher looks at you like "one of those" parents.

stop caring about that and get.in.there.

parents think they have no control over the education system,
yes.we.do!

and let's prove it to them.

because this is so completely far from normal.
. . . .

I sincerely want to know what you think
and how you make it work for your family
(or plan to when you're an old lady like me with kids in big kid school).

talk to me.

please note: I scored AMAZING parents who encouraged and REQUIRED my brother and I to be self directed learners. . . they taught us to think for ourselves. PRAISE YOU MOM. I also scored some AMAZING teachers (Mrs Gega, Mrs Shire, Mrs Dominguez, that choir teacher in middle school who's name I can't remember, Mrs Woolsey and a million more) and so have my kids (all the pre k teachers, Mrs K, Ms Butterworth). THANK YOU HEAVEN ABOVE!

I don't want to blog today.

2010-08-10T20:19:00.002-10:00

I don't want to blog today.

And I am the boss of myself.

So there.

to doo doo.

2010-08-09T07:11:00.002-10:00

I'm going to be breathing this image into my soul all day long
to keep from having a full blown anxiety attack.

Just so you know.

What's on YOUR to doo doo list today?

Mine looks like crazy x lady gaga.

N

Happy Weekending.

2010-08-06T08:11:00.001-10:00

photo from sister Chelsea's wedding by Jon

birthday balloons.

2010-08-03T06:09:00.003-10:00

today you turn 4.

FOUR.

woosh.

There was a distinct feeling present

at the birth of each of you boys. . .

each different.

each powerful beyond description.

and for you, sweet Lincoln,

the moment you were born,

that room was FILLED to the brim with JOY.

absolute joy in it's very purest sense.

Everyone felt it.

Complete happiness.

and it was thick. tangible. and indescribable.

No one (doctors and nurses included)

could stop smiling or outright laughing out loud with joy.

It was completely infectious.

YOU are completely infectious.

Every perfect little part of your perfect little spirit.

You still fill our lives with absolute joy.

Every minute.

of every single day.

We love you big boy!!!

Love,

Mommy

huppy burfday big guy!

2010-08-02T00:01:00.000-10:00

Richie,

There's no one I'd rather "ride the river with."

Happy birthday baby!

Love,

Me

on the road again.

2010-07-30T09:37:00.003-10:00

look at this wonderful picture

my v. v. talented friend Ryan Muirhead took of my boys.

then tell me their abundant adorableness

didn't make you poop in your pants.

_______________________

Today.

we're on the road again.

back to Utah for baby Chelsea's wedding

(don't worry, baby Chelsea is 24 as of yesterday).

On a side note,

she's marrying a prince.

but like, for real.

she is.

Anyway,

I'm feeling kinda bleh from all this travel.

You know how it's just common womanly knowledge

that you gain 5 lbs for every 1,000 miles you spend in

a car eating road trip food?

Well, folks,

I've been in a car for 6,000 miles. . .

with ZERO shortage of road trip goodies.

Watch out world!

and please, don't look at me from behind.

happy weekending!

This is an alien. Love, Cardon

2010-07-28T08:43:00.002-10:00

Today Cardon was looking at Cousin Ashley's art

with Grandma.

He decided he wanted to draw something for her.

"To Ashley,

This is an alien.

Love,

Cardon"

read this. LOVED it.

2010-07-27T17:11:00.003-10:00

"How you go'n stand it. . . . I mean goin' home every night and she ain't there."

"Do I got a choice, Will Tweedy? I got to stand it, ain't I? Livin' is like pourin' water out of a tumbler into a dang Coca-Cola bottle. If'n you're scared you can't do it, you can't. If'n you say to yourself, 'By dang, I can do it!' then by dang, you won't slosh a drop . . . . I wouldn't ask the Lord to steady my hand for a thing like pourin' water into a Coca-Cola bottle. But I'll be askin' Him for help on this."

-Cold Sassy Tree

Olive Ann Burns

PS. Hopefully I'll get my act together and get the final changes to the designer for the new blog soon! Holding off on "real" blogging until after my face lift. :) Hang in there friends! SOOOOOO close!

Happy Birthday to Me.

2010-07-26T08:55:00.005-10:00

Today is my birthday.

I'm 29.

TWENTY-NINE.

gad.

Got this awesome b-day surprise from my Costa Rician muchacho.

(he's singing softly so he doesn't wake up his hombres)

If the video doesn't load, go here to see all the awesome that is Richie.

richie b day from Natalie Norton on Vimeo.

Richie.

2010-07-23T10:09:00.004-10:00

My man is off surfing in Costa Rica.

I am going to the zoo.

Then turning off the computer until Monday.

Peace out homies.

xx,

Go Go GO!

2010-07-21T07:47:00.002-10:00

click to enlarge if necessary.

You're right Marie, I am proud.

SO.PROUD!

Natalie Norton Photography Featured by Green Wedding Shoes!

2010-07-19T10:04:00.004-10:00

Thanks to Green Wedding Shoes
for featuring Glenn and Jill's beautiful Rancho Las Lomas wedding!

Raleigh.

2010-07-16T20:21:00.002-10:00

Cardon.

2010-07-13T19:33:00.000-10:00

Lincoln.

2010-07-12T18:36:00.002-10:00

a long time ago.

2010-07-08T18:11:00.005-10:00

look closely.

a long time ago.

at church.

me: speaking to the congregation.

Richie: managing the crazies.

Congregation: silent.

Cardon: has to pee.
as per every second of his life.

Richie:
"just wait until mommy's done and we'll go potty."

Cardon.

screaming.
as per every second of his life.

"MY WIENER'S GONNA BLOW! MY WIENER'S GONNA BLOW!"

and Cardon,
that is why I love to be made crazy by you.

every.single.minute.
of every.single.day.
of forever.and.ever.and.EVER.

so glad you're mine.

every single crazy little bit of you.

xx,

mom

workshopping it here in Calgary tomorrow!
can't wait to meet all my new friends!

Yeeeeeeehawwwwwwww!

United Press International + 6 months ago today.

2010-07-07T06:59:00.006-10:00

I was interviewed recently by United Press International.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with UPI, as I was,
UPI is one of the nation's leading media outlet organizations.

You can read the full article here.

A lot of you have expressed a desire to help create awareness
surrounding the need for adult pertussis vaccinations.

THANK YOU.

This article by UPI would be a great way to start.

If you feel so inclined,
please send this article on to friends and family
and even (and especially) local press associations.

You may also simply link people directly to this post if you prefer.

Let's end this together.

So no family ever has to have a 6 month anniversary
like the one our family is recognizing today.

______________________

FYI

Here is some information about what United Press International:

Since 1907, United Press International (UPI) has been a leading provider of critical information to media outlets, businesses, governments and researchers worldwide. UPI is a global operation with offices in Beirut, Hong Kong, London, Santiago, Seoul and Tokyo. Our headquarters is located in downtown Washington, DC, surrounded by major international policy-making governmental and non-governmental organizations.

UPI licenses content directly to print outlets, online media and institutions of all types. In addition, UPI’s distribution partners provide our content to thousands of businesses, policy groups and academic institutions worldwide. Our audience consists of millions of decision-makers who depend on UPI’s insightful and analytical stories to make better business or policy decisions.

In the year of our 101st anniversary, our company strives to continue being a leading and trusted source for news, analysis and insight for readers around the world.

Millie.

2010-07-05T18:26:00.004-10:00

just went with our may-as-well-be-cousins
to see Thoroughly Modern Milly here in Cardston, Alberta.

so.fun.

bet you didn't know I used to hop and bop around
on the stage in my former life.

did a fair bit of choreography as well.

kinda missed it tonight. . .

and by kinda I'm sure I mean, oh so totally.

Michelle, you were FAB!!

xx,

N

beyond obsessed.

2010-07-05T13:00:00.000-10:00

Dear Kelly,

I am completely and totally beyond obsessed with this.

like, as in,
I think my level of enthusiasm is absolutely unhealthy.

xx,

Me

and then the sun comes up.

2010-07-05T07:00:00.000-10:00

it hurts to think about what we've been through.

so. . .
often we don't.

think about it.

at all.

but today,
as we creep toward that milestone that is 6 months . . .

we hurt.

all of us do.

we lie in our tent at night and I'm glad it's dark.
so the kids won't see the tears in my eyes.

and I know they're in Richie's too.

we talk about him.

we answer their questions.

and then they fall into peaceful sleep,
because their faith is so wonderfully perfect and pure.

I try so hard to be like them.

and then in the quiet of the night,
I find myself alone with my thoughts.

about his little hands.

his perfect little belly button.

his full, pouty lips.

and those eyes.

calm.
full of love . . .
and trust.

and now you're gone.

and my arms,
well they're empty.

and my heart,
well . . .

it hurts.

and that hurt won't ever go away.

I cry silent tears of sorrow.

. . . mingled with tender gratitude.

for all I have left. . .
for all he's given us.

and then the sun comes up.

as it always does.

as it always will.

land that I love.

2010-07-04T01:05:00.000-10:00

Raleigh, La Push, 2010.

Seattle Workshop.

2010-07-03T10:54:00.004-10:00

photo by attendee Kristy Carlson

Envision | Seattle was wonderful.

thank you girls (+ Erin's Connor) for the PERFECT day.

I miss you already!

xx,

Me

and just don't bother asking about the hands.
we've determined that my father was apparently a quarter smurf.

KHON 2 News.

2010-07-03T08:35:00.004-10:00

We were on the news last night in Honolulu.

You can view the clip here.

The clip is entitled
"Preventing the spread of whooping cough in Hawaii".

There was one piece of information that was
inaccurate in the report.

To set the record straight:

Gavin did NOT contract pertussis while on the mainland.

Gavin contracted pertussis in Hawaii
and became symptomatic while we were vacationing in UT.

We know this because we've done the math of the
incubation period of the disease.

For the record.
(when you're fancy and on TV you get to say stuff like that).

Mahalo KHON 2 for bringing attention
to this important issue that is facing our island home,
and the nation at large!

Parents and caregivers,
get your booster shot today!

Southern UT FYI.

2010-07-03T08:06:00.003-10:00

A facebook friend (thanks Margie!)
informed me today that the
Southwest Utah Public Health Department
is currently offering FREE Tdap vaccine to anyone ages 19 through 64!

I hope that given the current outbreak in CA,
other community health departments across the country
will follow suit.

If you're in the area,
get more information here.

today's the day.

2010-07-01T04:29:00.004-10:00

"today's the day.
the sun is shining. . .
the tank is clean. . ."

. . . and I am officially a MOM. :) Ha!

Nemo, you are so cool.
_________________________

but seriously, today's the day.

Envision | Seattle is T.O.D.A.Y!

I'm sold out for today in Seattle as well
as the 9th in Calgary,
but if you still want in on the magic that is Envision,
I do have a tiny tiny tiny bit of space for the UT workshop on the 13th.

The workshop in UT will be taught with bestie Jon.

We'd LOVE to have you there!

oh and ps.
I totally have butterflies.

I could do this 4 billion times.

butterflies.

no.matter.what.

wish me luck! :)

Forks.

2010-06-30T06:59:00.004-10:00

While I wasn't able to make it to the midnight showing
of Eclipse last night with the girls. . .

I did in fact spend the night in Forks.

And that's almost as cool.

right?

Internet!!!

2010-06-29T07:54:00.002-10:00

Internet!

It's been really really REALLY cool not having internet.

But it is also really really REALLY cool to have it again for a second. :)

I just counted and I officially have 17 shoots that need to be blogged.

SEVENTEEN.

as Jon would say,
meh.

I'll get to them when I do.

Right now,
enjoying time with family.

and.it's.awesome.

we'll be washing our hands. a lot.

2010-06-25T07:50:00.006-10:00

Um.

Still in a state of shock over yesterday's
reported Pertussis epidemic in the state of CA.

Information has been pouring in to me from readers in
OTHER STATES
reporting positive diagnoses of Pertussis as well. . .

bottom line:
Don't mess around.

If you have an infant,

GET YOUR FREAKING
ADULT PERTUSSIS VACCINATION.

today.

yesterday.

last week.

It is just NOT worth the risk!

When your baby dies in your arms,
you get to say things like that.

and people have to believe you.

____________________________

have a good weekend.

We'll be camping!

and washing our hands.

a lot.

xx,

me

one was enough.

2010-06-24T08:35:00.004-10:00

Dear California,

Did you know that your

department of public health

just declared Pertussis an epidemic in your state?!

Did you know that 5. . .

F.I.V.E.

babies have died of pertussis in CA just this year?

Did you know that

it is the worst pertussis has been in the state in 50 years?

Did you know that you can protect

the babies in your life by getting your

adult pertussis vaccination?

This is a disease that was nearly eradicated.

and it's back.

with a vengeance.

_____________________

FIVE babies.

That's not just a statistic to me.

Those are five families.

Five mothers.

Saying goodbye.

Join the fight against pertussis by liking

the Sounds of Pertussis campaign on facebook here.

Let's not wait until 5 becomes 10.

or until 10 becomes 15.

or more.

ONE was enough.

trust me.

because he was mine.

spread the word by linking to this post.

let's end this today. together.

xx,

utah.

2010-06-23T15:00:00.001-10:00

hate on her all you want,
but I'll tell you what. . .

Utah, I'm a big fan.

SO good to be home.

though it's hard not to remember how
last time we were here. . .

we were 6.
_______________________

and your diaper bag . . .

well, the insides, they still smell like you.

and your car seat. . .

I didn't see a reason to bring it back with us,
empty.

so here it still is.

naturally.

but bla bla bla
because guess what?

life is still good and
God is still great.

and mommy still loves you a billion.

xx,

me

Day . . . something or other. . .

2010-06-22T06:22:00.001-10:00

Day something or other.

and I'm pretty certain that means 10.

or 11.

or 9.

we're off to Utah in the morning.

and there's much more coming once the www situation isn't such a joke.

and once we're not off gallivanting all day. every day.

after this week, it'll only be half days of gallivantationing. ;)

thanks for being patient over the past week of nada. . .
and this current week of spotty spotty content.

promise to have things back up and running asa to the power of p.

xx!

Nat

honolulu airport | Day 1

2010-06-21T06:43:00.001-10:00

Honolulu Airport.

that's where the mania began.

well it really began in a pile full of laundry
then went to a car full of crazy

and THEN

we ended up at HNL.

and the airport is just crazy in general.

without kids.

crazy.

and then you add a billion children
and 2 month's worth of suitcases. . .

and well, there just aren't words.

and amid all the hustle,

I stopped.

and my heart was nearly wrenched from my chest.

_________________________________

who knows how long he'd be gone.

and I suppose there's really no certainty
he'll ever come home. . .

and there's a knot it my throat just typing that.

and she was crying.

tears that were gentle and sincere.

the kids were a mess.

and he was . . .
something I don't have words to describe. . .

and I didn't have time to think.

we were walking by and there was only this one moment.

I pulled out my instant camera (yes, I bought it last week)
and through humiliating tears directed their family together. . .

. . . he tearfully put it in the pocket over his heart.

and they said goodbye.

_______________________

and suddenly all my crazy,
didn't seem so crazy.

and if I never take another picture as long as I live,
it won't matter.

that moment was enough.

Hi!

2010-06-21T01:23:00.002-10:00

Epcot at night. LOVELY.

I've missed you!

I couldn't for the life of me find a way to blog from my tele,
so. . . I'm sorry a billion times over for the long gap between posts!

I've been enjoying Orlando. . .

well, really. . .
I've just been enjoying my family.

so.much.

so.so.much.

so.so.so.much.

and that's really all I can think to say.

other than this:

today.

Cardon sees a dwarf for the first time in his life
and LOUDLY proclaims:

"That's the smallest grown up I've ever seen!"

it was awesome.

and our small friend was ever so gracious and understanding.

thankfully.

similar to the other day when he saw a tiny filipina
in an elevator and said:

"Dad! How does a grown up get so tiny?!"

oh cardon.

oh. oh. oh.

sister friends.

2010-06-12T18:14:00.007-10:00

don't mind the zero make up. . .
or our disheveled hair. . .
or our absurd arrangement of beach attire. . .

my 27th birthday | 2008
image by Jon

I have certain friends in my life who I call sister friends.

and these are a few of them.

on Monday, the last of us,
excluding my lonely self,
is headed off the island to other wonderful adventures.

Dori, please don't go.

I love you girls so much. . .

and I miss you every day.

xx.

Me

my mom.

2010-06-10T21:14:00.002-10:00

Dear Mom,

I love you,
and tomorrow is your birthday.

I rewrote this post a billion times.

trying to be eloquent.

but there is just not another way to tell you how much I love you
than just to tell you. . . how very much I love you.

because I do.

Love you.

So very very much.

There could NEVER EVER have been a better mother
for me than you.

Thank you.

for all of it.

especially the part where you gave us your all.

every.single.bit.of.you.

Happy happy day.

love,

me

(and your gavin too)

today smelled like good good friends.

2010-06-09T21:51:00.003-10:00

today smelled like a teleprompter.

a teleprompter and white slacks.

white slacks get dirty verrrrry easily.
why did I think they would be a good idea?
sometimes I wonder about my thought process.

today smelled like talented colleagues.

talented colleagues and good good food.

even if it was cold by the time we got to sit down and eat.
at least it was well photographed before it was devoured.

today smelled like happy children.

happy children and a husband who loves me millions.

he'll also swim in the ocean with me in all our clothes.
that was fun.
we should do it again really soon.

today smelled like hard hard work.

hard hard work and good good friends.

how did I get so many beautiful people in my life.
no one knows.
I don't deserve them.

xx.

me

baby evelin.

2010-06-07T23:04:00.005-10:00

we love you so much baby evelin. . .

auntie nat

help protect beautiful newborns like baby evelin;
get your adult pertussis vaccination today.

do it for baby gavin.
for baby evelin.
for me.

public service announcement: vaccination discussion.

2010-06-07T00:21:00.003-10:00

this is not an open discussion on vaccinations.

just a couple of thoughts on the DISCUSSION of vaccinations in general.

just know, that no matter what I say below,
I love you.

I'm ABSOLUTELY not pinpointing anyone in particular!

I'm just publicly setting some boundaries,
because I feel like I owe that to myself and my tender soul.

don't come up to me at church or the grocery store or the beach or the ladies room and try to talk to me about vaccinations. It's uncomfortable for me, and it makes me feel cornered.
if you want to talk to me about vaccinations, please genuinely want to listen to me as well. most people who open the vaccination discussion are more interested in giving me their opinion on vaccinations and though they approach the discussion from the grounds of seeking to understand. . . 9 times out of 10 it's simply a way to open a dialog so that they can tell me all about how they feel about vaccines and why their opinion is right.
don't assume that you know how I feel about childhood vaccines. I have not openly discussed this topic other than with close friends and family members.
if you want to ask me questions or tell me a thing or two about vaccinations, please just wait a little while. I am 100% happy to discuss this at a later date. The bottom line is that right now with all the mommying (grief stricken kids need a LOT more parenting than their free spirited counterparts), wifeyness (husbands hearts break too), shooting and all the business etcs (my release and often salvation) and regular grief and healing, I just don't have the TIME to address the subject in its entirety. When I do discuss the topic, I want to make sure I can do so comprehensively AND have time and energy for the backlash that is inherent to these types of discussions and thus is inevitable no matter how respectfully I approach the subject.

In the mean time,
THANK YOU for being patient with me.

If you see me in the bathroom, please just tell me that my fly is down.

and let's just save this discussion for a more appropriate time
when we can both give it the attention to detail that it deserves.

thank you dearies.

I really do love you.

xx.

Me

PS. Lame way to start your Monday.

I know.

I'll make it up to you, scouts honor!

happy weekending!

2010-06-04T23:22:00.001-10:00

click to enlarge :)
they're even more beautiful close up. :)

Happy weekending!

xx!

Me

huppy burfday.

2010-06-04T00:59:00.002-10:00

stop growing up.

right this very second.

you are magic, just as you are. . .

magic.

I LOVE YOU A BILLION MY RALEIGH!!

xx,

Mommy

____________________

"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!" — J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

utah.

2010-06-03T00:34:00.003-10:00

Dear Utah,

You sure know how to do Summer.

Can't wait to see you in a few weeks.

xx.

Me

Instax.

2010-06-01T21:52:00.004-10:00

I'm sincerely considering nabbing one of these bad boys
for our upcoming travels.

I almost bought one for each of the boys for Christmas.
I mean, Santa almost did that.

BUT THEN,
Santa realized how expensive the film was
and decided those were really extravagant gifts
for a 6, 4 and 3 year old.

_____________________

. . .they're just so awfully trendy at the moment.

That is always a deterrent to me,
but it really shouldn't be.

Because that is a REALLY stupid reason
not to get something awesome. . .

thoughts?

yes/no/maybe

memorial.

2010-05-30T21:32:00.002-10:00

I had a dream.

and I saw you.

for the first perfect time since the last.

and
you.were.beautiful. . .

and wearing that gray shirt and those light colored jeans.

of course.

and you were radiant.

and happy.

so.very.happy.

and I knew,
I KNOW,
we'll be together again.

. . .

Until that beautiful day,
Gavin. . .

love him for me.

that little you.

keep him.

love him for me.

tell him stories about his mommy.

how she loved him with every ounce of her.

and more.

tell him I named him after you,
because there was no greater honor.

for either of you.

you are after all,
perfect.

my gavins.

I love you with all of me.

and more.

xx.

Sis

PS.

Tell Uncle Bart I love him too.
I miss him sometimes almost as much as I miss you.

almost.

please tell him thank you.

for everything.

unplugged.

2010-05-28T22:49:00.003-10:00

I'm unplugged till Monday.

Double dare you to do the same.

Have a great weekend!

xx.

Me

wahoo!

2010-05-26T23:58:00.004-10:00

The Norton's are coming to DisneyWORLD!

AHHHHH!

I'm available for a limited number of photo sessions
on Monday the 21st of June.

email me for details!
natalienorton{at}gmail{dot}com

happiest place on Earth!

YES!

HUGE thanks to Linds at Pixie Vacations
for saving us nearly 4 billion dollars.

frustrated.

2010-05-26T23:19:00.003-10:00

I've tried REPEATEDLY
to get ANY image to upload
and retain any semblance of decency.

For some unexplainable reason,
EVERY.SINGLE.TIME
I upload directly blogger lately,
the images look soft (read: JUNK).

If you ever want to see another picture of mine,
EVER in your life,
someone enlighten me. . .

please.

growl.

lucky shot.

2010-05-25T22:44:00.004-10:00

(promise me you'll click to enlarge)

I know.
amazing, right?

Totally "just" a lucky shot. . .

but truth be told,
I don't believe much in luck,
except for the kind you make all by yourself.

Take the above picture for example,
I got lucky,
sure.

BUT
I was prepared for the luck when it came my way.

I've worked hard to know my gear
like the back of my hand.

I was waiting and hoping for exactly this to happen.

I was holding out patiently until my luck came a'calling.

. . .

When people say,
oh, "he just got lucky"
or "I have the WORST luck."

I hardly ever buy it.

It almost ALWAYS goes much deeper than that.

my 2 cents.

xx!

Nat

yesterday looked like sharpie.

2010-05-24T16:44:00.006-10:00

(last night I journaled on a legal pad with a sharpie
because my real journal has disappeared from the face of the planet.
Transcribing here for the sake of posterity.)

Tonight I turned on the lamp next to my bed and thought of Shelly. About how much I really do love my lamps and that I should thank her again for buying them for me.

Then I noticed that the crickets are really loud tonight and I wished they'd pipe down. . . but then I also realized that those noisy crickets mean Summer which equals REAL time with my kids, so I apologized to the crickets in my head for thinking bad things about them. Then the strangest thing happened. The crickets went silent. All by themselves.

Cardon, today you were cute, but terribly naughty during sacrament meeting. Thankfully, you redeemed yourself by being so concerned for the new girl during Sunday school. I love you a million.

I've decided that when I refer to the Sounds of Pertussis in passing, I'm just going to refer to it as "Sounds." The word pertussis, saying it, typing it, hearing it. . . makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

My stomache hurts. Probably because I'm terribly hungry. but more likely because of all the junk (read: "CRAP") I've been ingesting like a garbage disposal since New York. Unacceptable. Ends NOW. Scouts honor.

Women's Conference is coming up. I'm speaking on overcoming feelings of inadequacy. . . and I feel so inadequate. oh gol. the irony.

I like writing, though I'm certain I'm only moderately good at it. I think I would 100% definitely like writing less if I knew no one would ever read what I've written. It's not the writing that's therapeutic. It's the knowing that someone will be reading. Makes me less fancy now that you know that. I know. I agree.

I wish my stomach would stop hurting and the fan is blowing in my eyes.

Beats being hot.

I hope I take lots of beautiful pictures this week and that Ashley and I get a solid plan before she leaves to marry Alden.

I'm very happy for them by the way.

Richie is hard at work on his book, P.S.

It's fantastic and I'm amazingly proud of him, but tonight he didn't think so.

Truth be told, I think he's just hungry too. . .

Gosh I love that man.

The children are all nestled all snug in their beds, so, I suppose it's time to turn off Shelly's perfect lamp and zonk.

goodnight.

god is good.

N

I hope my stomach feels better when I wake up in the morning. boo.

3 beautiful little reasons to rejoice.

2010-05-23T23:40:00.011-10:00

this cell phone pic was either taken the day you went into the hospital,
or the one before.

I honestly thought you had just a sniffle.

I honestly thought we'd be home in a day.

__________________________________

Today.

Today I stopped by 3 different friends houses
to see their beautiful new babies.

they are each so.wonderful.

all girls. :)
someone has to balance the universe for us, after all.

such a beautiful reminder of what really matters.
all that really matters in the end.

I held evelin (pronounced eve lin)
while mommy stepped into the other room.

I held her little tummy against my chest.

her tiny head laying just under my chin. . .
the smell of Heaven still fresh in her thick, dark hair.

and for 30 seconds I closed my eyes.

for 30 seconds, I allowed myself to
just.play.pretend.

and it was a heavenly hell all wrapped up
into 30 terrifyingly beautiful seconds.

and I remembered what it felt like to be "us."

you and I.

and then, I remembered again what it felt like to just be "me."
as if I could ever really forget.

but only for now.
it's only just me for now.

"only for now."

I repeated in my head as I quickly wiped my tears.

this is after all a happy time.

3 beautiful little reasons to rejoice.

have a beautiful weekend.

2010-05-20T22:41:00.003-10:00

viking snickerdoodles.

2010-05-19T20:11:00.003-10:00

so.

raleigh has to do a presentation in his 1st grade class
on his cultural heritage.

somewhere,
a billion years ago,
there was a Viking our mix.

and OF COURSE
a 6 year old wants to present on Vikings. . .
because he realizes that culturally we are SO VERY connected.

One faucet of the presentation is. . .
FOOD.

So. . .
we're making Snickerdoodles.

because they're raleigh's favorite.

(and because we looked it up and Vikings, well they ate PORK,
and HOW does one prepare PORK for a classroom of 6 year olds??)

Snickerdoodles?
Well they technically came from Germany.

And hello? Germany is SUPER close to Scandanavia.

AND Vikings come from Scandanavia!

So Vikings and Snickerdoodles
TOTALLY go together.

naturally.

I am the best Mom ever.

Raleigh will be dressing up like a Viking,
and handing out snickerdoodles.

yes.

we win forever.

baby richie.

2010-05-19T20:05:00.000-10:00

baby richie.

I know.

You just want to SQUEEZE him.

i like my aunts, i like my allisons.

2010-05-18T18:42:00.004-10:00

I am obsessed.
and want to do this every day. . .

for the rest of my life.

found via rachel (she's a favorite).

FACT.

When I was in college I had bleh days ALOT.

fat days.
boys suck days.
got a c days.
pms days. . .
and 4 billion etcs.

I REFUSED to lean into feeling like crap.

SO.

I invented the bathroom dance.

I would lock myself in a bathroom stall (in the GCB for you BYUHers)
and sing "I'm Walking on Sunshine" in my head. . .
at the TOP of my lungs (my uh, head lungs?)
and dance like a lunatic.

flailing arms a serious must.

try it.

FOR REAL.

the BEST and a TOTAL cure all.

someone will always hate you.

2010-05-17T19:27:00.005-10:00

I'm convinced that someone will always hate you,
and that it shouldn't really matter.

I'm convinced that for every 100-200 people who love you,
there is at least 1 who just won't.

Maybe they just don't understand you.

Maybe they just don't believe in, or are threatened by,
the things you represent.

Maybe they are simply misguided.

Maybe they are just mean.

or selfish.

or just loudmouthed and insensitive.

Whatever it is . . . it really doesn't matter.

Someone always will.

misunderstand you.
neglect to appreciate your efforts.
have an opinion about the way you cho0se to live.
feel threatened by the things you represent.

or just plain HATE you
for one inexplicable reason or another.

But again, it doesn't really matter.

it really doesn't.

the thing I'm baffled by is this. . .

WHY do we (myself included) focus all our time and energy on the
ONE person that is giving us grief?

Why not the HUNDRED who love, support, celebrate and sustain us?

I'm convinced that someone will always hate you,
and that it shouldn't really matter.

_________________________

and in case you haven't heard it a while,
I want you to know. . .

I love you.

I think you're wonderful.

I appreciate your efforts.

I am cheering you on.

I am your number 1 fan.

I think you can, I think you can,
I.think.you.can.

In fact, I know you will.

mwa!

xx,

me

HI Women's Conference.

2010-05-17T08:37:00.003-10:00

I'll be speaking at Hawaii Women's Conference
on managing feelings of inadequacy. . .

"I'm thankful to be me; managing feelings of inadequacy"
to be exact.

so of course I've spent the last few weeks
feeling nothing but inadequate.

It's a certainty that whenever I receive a speaking assignment,
I subsequently receive a baptism by fire on the subject . . .
to ensure I really know what I'm talking about.

anyway. . .

I'd love to have you there.

xx.

Me

nie nie.

2010-05-17T05:11:00.001-10:00

who hasn't learned something
profound from nie?

who's life hasn't she changed?

happy mother's day.

2010-05-08T18:09:00.005-10:00

I love you richie.

thanks for being dad. :)

I sure love being mom.

Miss you fierce!

xx,

____________________________

All y'all,

Sorry if I'm MIA the next few days.

I'll be meeting with the sounds of pertussis people (deep breath).

filming.

shooting.

EATING. . .

and all the etcs.

see you soooooooon!

I love you!

miss you every moment.

2010-05-05T23:41:00.004-10:00

This was one of the happiest moments in my life.

So much happiness.

We were complete.

. . . oblivious to the monster around the corner.

__________

I miss you every moment little boy.

Thank you for being mine.

My life is better having known you,
my soul is richer after having said goodbye.

You gave me the gift of faith
and a perfect trust in God's eternal plan.

I love you completely.

Happy Mother's Day. . .

I am so glad I'm your mommy.

xx.

Me

__________

We will be complete again.

one fine day.

of that I am certain.

(and good mercy, I cannot wait!)

happy cinco de mayo.

2010-05-05T00:22:00.007-10:00

I really enjoy Kate and Pehrson.
Like, a lot.

I also enjoy mustaches (no, not really. not at all.)
and Cinco de Mayo (yes. SO.MUCH).

eat a burrito and enjoy.

oh and ps, launch date for the new blog,
pushed back, again.

I feel like y'all are going to be underwhelmed
after all the anticipation! :\

shooting in the rain rhymes with AWESOME. . .

2010-05-03T11:11:00.003-10:00

and crazy.

shooting in the rain rhymes with awesome and crazy.

portrait paintings: birds of ash mae.

2010-05-03T00:01:00.002-10:00

look at this beautiful painting Birds of Ash Mae
created for me out of this cell phone pic. . .

and she can make one for you too!

check out her snazzy etsy here for more information
or to pick up one of her other AMAZING paintings.

xx,

Me

around here.

2010-04-30T23:06:00.003-10:00

around here,
happiness looks an awful lot like this.

now,
get off the stupid computer,
and go do something awesome.

See you Monday.

xx!

Me

Starter DSLR: DEAL!

2010-04-29T09:19:00.005-10:00

I get multiple emails every day asking

about a starter level DSLR.

Today I got an email from my gear provider
of choice, B&H,
and they've got some smokin' deals on jut such Canon cameras!

Canon Rebel xs

Canon Rebel t1i

Canon Rebel t2i

Check all the deals out here.

These cameras are not only great starter cameras
for the aspiring photographer,
they're also FANTASTIC all around family cameras!

I would recommend any of the above.
Just measure out your budget and select the camera
that is the best fit financially!

Happy Thursday!

(THURSDAY?! SERIOUSLY!??)

xx.

N

PS. Be cautious buying gear online
unless it's from a reputable site like B&H.
There are MANY scams out there in the
online camera sales industry.
MANY.SCAMS.

past my bedtime.

2010-04-29T00:18:00.003-10:00

it happens to be a full 2 hours and 24 minutes
past my bedtime.

I'm already grumbling about having to
get out of bed so early.

but I'm learning that this weight isn't going to fall off
my bootay without a concerted fight.

so, up.I'll.get.

today I looked at images that made me sad.
relived a fight I wish I'd never had to fight.

a war I continue to wage day after day after day.

then I look at my living children
and I wonder.

"what am I giving you now
in a better way than I was before our goodbye?"

because it's either bitter or better
through these types of things.

or so I hear.

I choose better. . .
at least most days I do.

I try my darndest.
and that's all any of us CAN do in the end.

Give it VERY our best go.

we can do it.

I think.
I KNOW.

Off to read my favorite book
then say goodnight to Wednesday.

even though it was actually gone a full 27 minutes ago.

xx,

Me

good times.

2010-04-27T22:45:00.002-10:00

holy.hannah.

I spent the day in line at the Health Department
and then off to get passport pictures taken of all my crazies.
(um world, PLEASE never get pictures taken at Sears)

as if that weren't magical enough for a Tuesday. . .
I lost the car keys.

at the mall.

far.far.FAR away from home.

already exhausted from the hell
that is every government office on Earth
and from navigating the worst portrait studio EVER
with 3 rambunctious children.
(thank Heaven for the Jonas Brothers sing along DVD,
who ever woulda thunk it?)

3 hours later,
literally 5 minutes before they booted us onto the street
at closing time,
besties M + L were on their way down
to our rescue with the spare. . .
when magically the security guard called to say
"tada!"

miraculously the keys had been turned in.

home.

tired to my core.

and so thankful that we have wonderful
friends like M + L who
(after searching high and low for our spare
AND driving 45 minutes-WITH baby in tow- to come save our sorry little booty butts)
just laughed the whole thing off and said simply:

"good times."

good times.

good friends.

GOOD NIGHT!

xx,

Me

Canlas + Me + Workshop + UT = WIN!

2010-04-26T07:51:00.002-10:00

$800 early bird registration
very limited seating still available

email for more details

natalienorton{at}gmail{dot} com
jonathan{dot}canlas{at}gmail{dot}com

Jon and I would be HONORED to have you there!

xx!

Me

something else.

2010-04-25T23:38:00.005-10:00

sorry if that last post seemed obnoxious.

it's bothering me to have had it front and center
all.weekend.long.

I promise I'm not psychotic.

It was just a sad day.

But I'm VERY happy now. :)

I'm far too tired to blog anything important tonight,
the purpose of this post is simply so that something else
will show up instead of my sob sob sobbing. :)

I'll be back soon with more.

In the mean time,
lets talk about how my husband is HOME
and I survived my hardest.week.yet post tragedy.

all by my lonesome!

I'm feeling fancy.
I'm not going to lie.

fancy.
fancy.
fancy.

Normally I'd buy myself ice cream to celebrate
(as in an entire pint of new york super fudge chunk. yum.)
but since I've still got that last 10 to go
(which seems to have congregated right around my booty and midline. bleh.)
I'm settling for pretty fingers and toes.

Love,

Me

PS- I'm kinda holding off on posting recent
shoots until the launch of the new blog. . .
HOPEFULLY THIS WEEK!

just fyi. :)

today I ran.

2010-04-23T00:07:00.003-10:00

today I was mad.

mad.

it was ugly and uncomfortable.

so,
I ran.

I ran.
and I ran.
and.I.ran.

pounded.my.feet into the pavement.

why was my face was so wet?

the sweat.
the tears.
the pouring rain.

I pushed the stroller haphazardly into the driveway and ran right on.

sprinting now.

I knew exactly where I was headed.

and when I got there,
the gate was closed.

it was locked.

WHY do they lock it?
WHY do they try keep me from him?
from them?

I stopped.

I kicked the gate.

I KICKED THE GATE.

In broad daylight.
there were people around.
I kicked the gate.

twice.

heaving sobs.

then I wiped my sweaty, teary, rainy face,
turned, and trotted on home.

I fed my children tv dinners and sent them off to bed.

now,
I am happy.

and sleepy.

and my tummy is FILLED to the brim with cherry tomatoes.
(which I will likely regret in the morning)

sometimes,
you just have to RUN.

goodnight.

xx.

Me

this is Sarah, and you can help.

2010-04-22T12:49:00.004-10:00

photos by jon.

This is Sarah.

I do not know her,
but I have a feeling we would be friends.

She is a wife.
a mother.
a neighbor.
a friend.
. . .

and Sarah has been told she is dying.

“There is no one in your situation.
Others who have had your type of cancer have not lived this long.”

Find out how you can help here.

Learn more about Sarah and her courageous fight here.

Sarah,

Our prayers are yours.

and they are fervent.

Love,

Natalie

“Your faith will perform miracles,
especially when you get your hands and feet involved.”
Gordon B. Hinckley.

mice, funerals and benadryl.

2010-04-21T18:47:00.006-10:00

um.

did I mention uncle richie is out of town all week?
(for yet ANOTHER funeral)

oy. oy. oy.

flying solo is not nearly as cool as tandem.
not.even.close.

on a happier note,
as we speak the kids are drifting peacefully into an oblivion.

I've never been so grateful for allergy season in my life.
they're all sniffly and miserable. . .
which gives me a bona fide excuse to drug them at bedtime.

what?

. . .

oh, and there is DEFINITELY a mouse living in my kitchen.

who I refuse to kill,
but also have NO intention of sharing KITCHEN space with.

vomit.

sooo. . .
the boys and I set up boobie traps.

they find it absurd and hilarious that said traps are called "boobies".

we'll see how successful our humanity turns out being.

uncle jase?

plan on a hysterical early morning phone call
if we actually end up catching him.

xx.

Me

just play ball.

2010-04-20T10:40:00.002-10:00

I just got this little message today from a blog reader.

I was taking clothes out of the dryer, folding, etc. today. We are home , Nash has an ear infection and is feeling puny. He kept asking me to play ball, play ball, play ball. Today I put all the clothes down , put all my other chores aside, thought of you and baby Gavin, and played ball. Thanks to you and him for the beautiful reminder that time does not stand still , so grab it. Please send the laundry fairy too, when you get a chance...

________________________

play ball.

just do it.

and if anyone has any connections with the laundry fairy,
I'm in dire need as well.

xx.

Me

up to my neck in magic.

2010-04-20T08:26:00.019-10:00

I read something this morning that moved me to my core:

(among other things, this quote makes me particularly excited about the workshops! mind blowing things coming with those people. A couple of seats open in Seattle if you're interested.)

"Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not that one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one's ideas, to take a calculated risk- and to act"

- Andre Malraux

the bottom line is,
I am neck deep in magic.

and madness.

I'm working on millions of projects simultaneously.
. . . each of which really could be a full time job in and of itself.

Some of which are purely awesome and wonderful.

Some of which scare the dung out of me,
and have a high probability of landing me flat on my chubby kiester.

________________________

though I will proudly mention that said kiester
is in fact 32 lbs lighter than it was only a few short months ago.

(as I've mentioned before, baby fat + no baby = insult.to.injury
and also = plenty of incentive to work hard and get healthy, quick).

_________________________

despite the risk, all these projects make me feel
alive and excited beyond words.

It's time.

and I'm brave.

I've been proving that to myself
every.single.day
since that dreaded one.

and I'm only a little shy to tell you how proud of myself that makes me.

Today?

feeling thankful that I inherently have a high tolerance for risk
and. . . still feeling the weight of the scaries I'm consciously walking right into.

but again, it's time.

and I'm brave.

loving the ends.
loving the new beginnings.

welcoming it all.

xx.

Me.

PS. hey YOU, go for it!

happy sunday.

2010-04-17T22:58:00.003-10:00

click to enlarge, it's fun!

I am so completely in love with this photograph.
I hope it makes your Sunday bright.

xx.

Me

discount ends TOMORROW!!

2010-04-15T09:42:00.005-10:00

prices raise $100 tomorrow at 5pm PST!

Calgary: SOLD OUT
Seattle: 1 seat open

email me for information stat.

natalienorton{at}gmail{dot}com

xx!

N

ps. jonathan canlas and I might (and by 'might' I mean 'totally are')
bringing an Envision on over to Alpine, UT!

pre registration has begun, email either of us to secure your seat.
more info coming soon.

I heard it.

2010-04-13T17:09:00.004-10:00

I hate this video from the depths of my soul.

I.HATE.IT.

. . . because I heard it.

and now,
all I hear is silence.

resounding, silence.

please, get your adult pertussis vaccination.

please.

xx.

Me

july workshops: Seattle | Calgary

2010-04-12T12:54:00.007-10:00

I would love to see you there!

email for details fast.
natalienorton{at}gmail{dot}com.
very limited seats still available.

xx.

me

sleep.

2010-04-12T00:02:00.000-10:00

during the early weeks
(including, and perhaps especially, during those dreaded ones spent in the PICU)
intense feelings of anxiety overran sleep.

this (via mom) saved the day:

Natural Vitality - Natural Calm, oz, 16 oz powder
(all natural and all amazing)

just thought someone out there might like to know.

and, I'm not sure how to say this gracefully. . .

it might give you the runs.
but only at first.

xx.

N

ahh! I talked about poopies on my blog!

PS.

Oy! Just read that there's also a kids calm!
I'll definitely be checking into that
as I've got a munchkin with SPD who may really benefit!

Don't worry.
I'll return and report.

mornin' monday.

2010-04-12T00:01:00.000-10:00

50mm, 1/60th, 2.8, ISO 1000

This made me amazingly happy today.

peek-a-boo.

2010-04-09T12:27:00.004-10:00

peek-a-boo.
did you miss me?

this week was south of crazy.

(in the best way possible).
___________________________________

here's what the to do list looked like on Monday:

lots of mommyhood.

check.

find an Ashley.
ps. she's magic.

check.

glenn and jill's (above) wedding album.
(jill, it is going to blow your mind)

double check.

wrap things up with genius designer.
(meaning the new blog is coming before I turn 73, which is really encouraging)

check.

get promo material for 2 workshops coming this summer.
(info coming soon: july 1, seattle | july 9, calgary. email me pronto,
they both almost sold out before they've even hit the blog. BAM!)

quadruple check!!

shoot + edit squared.

shazaam!

survive the 3 month mark.
(yes, he's offically been gone from this world longer than he was in it)

sigh. check.

wrap the sad in your heart in yoga and tears.

check. and another sigh.

now, date night with Uncle Richie!

in progress.

here's a thought for your Friday night
inspired by dear family friend
Stephen R. Covey:

don't get caught up in the "stuff" of your day ins and outs.
avoid the "activity trap."

(insert addiction to social media network of choice)

You'll find that you're working harder and harder to climb
that latter of success, only to realize:

IT'S LEANING AGAINST THE WRONG WALL!

(gasp!)

If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall,
every.single.step we take,
will just get us to the wrong place. . .

faster.

love you guys.

xx.

N

happily easter.

2010-04-04T21:15:00.009-10:00

Happily, Easter means life.

Happily, Easter means forever.

hope.
love.
mercy.

. . . joy.

eternal.joy.

Happily, Easter represents everything I long for
and everything.that.sustains.me.

Because of Him,
amid the hollowness and horror of my broken soul,
there is hope.

. . . and miraculously, there is peace.

Because of Him,
all will be made whole in the end.

. . .which will actually only be the beginning,
won't it?

OH!
What a beautiful beginning it will be!

_________________________________

It takes an inexplicable amount of courage to post this.

Somehow, showing this here,
well, it makes this horrifying nightmare a reality.

permanent
(except that it's not, of course it's not,
but you understand).

. . .

I have to just say it out loud.
(deep breath)

My son is dead.

He left this Earth in the wee hours of the morning
on January 7th, 2010.

I held him in my arms,
tears falling from my cheeks to his sweet chest.

His chest where his daddy's hand lay,
feeling for the last pulsations of his perfect,
dying heart.

While family looked on,
helplessly.

Their hearts breaking with our own.

All of us already having seen too much sorrow.
Having already said too many goodbyes and too soon.

My son may be dead,
and yet.

AND YET HE LIVES.

Because of Jesus Christ.

He lives.

Because of this sacred day,
that other, terrifying day,
was not full of utter hopelessness and despair.

Sorrow? Absolutely.

AND hope.
AND love.

and little by little as the days go on,
even rejoicing.

and I think you'll see a little of that here.

and Uncle Jon?
we will love you. forever.

Photography by Jonathan Canlas
Music created just for us by Micah Dahl

Oh, and one more thing.
We're walking away from the graveside ceremony and. . .

Richie: Jon, do you know what the best thing about film is?
Jon: What's that?
Richie: It's not dead.

Some of you are laughing really hard right now.
For the rest of you, see here.

harses.

2010-04-03T14:03:00.003-10:00

name that movie:
"harses, harses, harses, harses, jingle bells, jingle bells. . ."

They're all better bigger:
feel free to click to enlarge. :)

above: doubly better if you click to enlarge. . .

above: also far fancier if you click clickity click.

sneak to the power of peek.

2010-04-02T17:20:00.003-10:00

definitely worth clicking to enlarge, just sayin'.

how could everything about this picture not make you want to smile?

to let go.
to laugh.
to love.
to live life to its fullest.

oy.

it does it for me.

in every.single.way.

more coming soon!

Lincoln + Totally Rad.

2010-04-01T11:52:00.006-10:00

I can tell Lincoln needs some serious
one.on.one.

so...

I'm ditching everything else,
to give him just that.

In the mean time,
I was interviewed by the Totally Rad Actions Blog,
see the full piece here.
(blush blush)

xx.

Me.

PS. Jon, your comment on TRA totally teared me up.

double heart.

2010-03-31T00:12:00.003-10:00

today I ran through a field with a girl named Chloe.

we roared our terrible roars.
we rolled through itchy grass.

we played peek-a-boo,
and made magic.

and I was reminded,
yet AGAIN,
why I double heart my job.

you.

2010-03-30T09:49:00.006-10:00

you.

you have been so strong.

so courageous.

my pillar.
my rod.
my refuge.

my silly afternoons and late night giggles.

my pick me up from a puddle on the floor
and tuck me safely into bed.

my late night prayers amid tears and earth shattering reality.

my "you've got mascara all over your face again"
before I walk out the door to the supermarket.

my, "how long has it been since you've showered."

my, "it's time for a break."

my walk . . .
hand in hand, on the sand.

you.

you have put aside every broken piece of your own heart,
your own shattered soul,
to love, protect and heal mine.

you have given yourself completely to our sons,
to me,
without a breath of a thought of yourself.

you have fought your own quiet battle.

alone.

disenfranchised.

while I stood before the world,
you
were the prayer that sustained me.

you are my happiest thought
and my saving grace.

I love you.

xx.

Me

typing. sunbathing.

2010-03-30T09:00:00.001-10:00

I just got an email from my perfect mother in law.

the subject line: typing. sunbathing.

this is richie's grandmother!
amazing right?

way to multitask Grandma Patty.
a woman after my own heart!

reaching out.

2010-03-26T19:37:00.005-10:00

this evening I.felt.so.alone.
I felt forgotten and forsaken.

but not by God.
never ever by Him.

My Richie took me in his arms.

and he said all the wrong things.

all the man things.
the fix you up things.

I arched my back at his attempts to "fix" my broken life,
then we both laughed out loud at our conventional marriage.
. . .

oh Richie,
you are my happiest thought.

I don't mind that we're conventional.
not.one.single.bit.
In fact, I'm quite certain it's my very favorite thing about us.

. . .

I spent a considerable amount of time lying
face down on the couch.

just so you know.

I'm really not sure what the kids were doing.
probably trying to kill each other on the trampoline?

it's likely.

I lay there, and I wished the day would wind it self to a close
and that I could just wake up, in clean sheets, and it'd be tomorrow.

fix the dinner.
put the kids to bed.
fold the laundry.
do the dishes.
answer the emails.
work.
work.
work.

. . .

my heart felt like it was going to EXPLODE
with complete and utter overwhelm.

then.

then, without a word, I got the keys.
kissed the man child.
kissed the crazies.

and I drove.
a block.
to the church parking lot.

I pulled into a stall.

and. . .
and I opened my email. . .???
of alllllllll the things in allllllllll the universe to do,
THIS is what popped into my brain.

and I read.

and.I.cried.

cried and cried and cried.

and cried.

and suddenly, I no longer felt all alone.

Bill (from Heaven knows where),

thank you.
thank you, for being willing to be "foolish" (bill's word, not mine).
your words spoke directly to tonight's broken soul.

and because of your example,
I will forever reach out better, more often, more completely.

xx.

N

Natalie,

I somehow stumbled onto your blog searching for photo stuff (I am an amateur photographer) and felt compelled to drop you a note. I read that you lost your young baby, I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this.

Please allow me to ramble for a moment. I was orphaned as a boy and it affected me deeply. Fast forward into adulthood and my wife lost our first baby. Then we had a healthy one and then had our youngest who was very sick and on a ventilator for years and tube fed and horribly sick and frail with many neurological issues, just last night I was going through old photos and I came across some pictures of our youngest that a local lady photographer did for us, and I remembered the first time I saw those pictures. Our little girl was so sick and I remember looking at her for the first time as just a pretty little baby. Somehow the photographer had captured her so perfectly and it truly changed the way I looked at her. No machines or nurses or medicines, just my baby. Maybe we were going to be a "normal" family someday.

So what does this have to do with you? I don't know other than you are a female photographer of considerable talent and you are obviously still coping with your incredible loss. But I am sure that somewhere a father or mother, son, daughter or maybe just a friend looked at one of your photos and smiled today. And maybe you helped someone look at a loved one in a little different, sweeter light. And that is an amazing gift!!!

My little one is almost ten now and off all of the machines. She's funny and smart and still has those same beautiful eyes that I first noticed in a picture. As I read your amazingly open and painful blog through tears I remembered the fear and pain and loneliness of my parents deaths and my wife's sense of loss after her miscarriage, and the anger and helplessness of my youngest illness. And then I think there is no such thing as a coincidence, I almost always had a sense of someone or something comforting me in my worst times. Sometimes a stranger would stop and chat with me, A friend may call unexpectedly. So as I get older and become more open to making a fool of myself, I can tell you that an unknown stranger is thinking of you and your loss and your gift of amazing portraits that you give to families touching them for years to come.

Bill

bookings: HI, CA, UT, Cardston. . .

2010-03-24T19:54:00.002-10:00

I've been getting a lot of emails lately
asking when I'm going to be taking bookings.

I had my first shoot post baby stuff
3 days after the funeral
and have been shooting pretty consistently ever since.

I'm currently booking into late May/June.

If you're interested, you may just want to jump on
el band wagon pronto.

ALSO, a pretty big trip to CA/UT/Cardston, Alberta
is in the mix, so if you'd like to get on the schedule in those areas
for July, drop me a line.

Love you little lovlies.

N

nature.

2010-03-23T20:55:00.003-10:00

dear nature,

I like you more than friends.

fyi: all straight out of the camera,
shot medium res jpeg,
at 1.4 thus the natural vignette.