tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post5099092443983518098..comments2024-03-11T21:53:34.502-10:00Comments on Pics and Kicks: when we find ourselves asking, "why?"Natalie.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03306521406053336039noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-36921765987209377992014-10-26T16:11:14.430-10:002014-10-26T16:11:14.430-10:00I have just discovered you and I'm so grateful...I have just discovered you and I'm so grateful. Thank you for your writings and sharing your experiences.Mindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14406429301633003232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-47655464319754661752010-03-08T18:54:58.802-10:002010-03-08T18:54:58.802-10:00Thank YOU! I needed to be reminded of that <3Thank YOU! I needed to be reminded of that <3Adventures of Matt and Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07694141926450746092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-53162604474824115032010-02-02T21:57:04.636-10:002010-02-02T21:57:04.636-10:00Ally,
wow that is so beautiful. Thank you for s...Ally, <br /><br />wow that is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing!!!!<br /><br />xo!<br /><br />NNatalie.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03306521406053336039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-30561721004980428502010-02-02T15:51:50.521-10:002010-02-02T15:51:50.521-10:00Hi Natalie--(seriously, I need to get off you blog...Hi Natalie--(seriously, I need to get off you blog right?) :)<br />I sometimes read the blog www.adailyscoop.blogspot.com<br />I find her words so great and well-written about grief. The other day she posted this comment and I thought it was just perfect.<br />Justin Young wrote, "The refining fire of the Lord is not a pleasant place to be and it takes faith, courage and trust in the Lord that he is shaping you into the person he knows, wants and needs you to be. I consider myself a man of great faith in God and his plan, but I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that the greatest faith cannot rescue one from the pangs of grief.<br /><br />"But I have found that in those moments of deepest sorrow, when my very heart seems to be tearing itself in two, the moments that take me to my knees begging for understanding, peace, love, light, relief ... it is in those moments of humility, left with nothing but a broken heart and contrite spirit, that the greatest lessons of life have been taught and the mysteries of his kingdom are unfolded to view.<br /><br />"Lessons and teachings that cannot all be shared openly, but cherished privately, and treasured up unto ourselves giving us not the wisdom of man, but the wisdom born of God."<br /><br />That wisdom, he said, "is forged from the flames of experience and this experience has opened my eyes beyond my own ability to see. And because of this, I believe we should be grateful for the trials we have today because they'll make us who we'll be tomorrow."Allyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00509122249582156271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-67683801219629021602010-02-02T10:16:44.361-10:002010-02-02T10:16:44.361-10:00Oh Rebecca! NOT IN THE LEAST BIT AT ALL!!!
I was ...Oh Rebecca! NOT IN THE LEAST BIT AT ALL!!!<br /><br />I was so worried that the "angel mommy chat" in the comments would make people worry! <br /><br />NO ONE has offended me in the least. NOT for a single second! <br /><br />I'm sorry you had an ounce of concern.<br /><br />A million kisses,<br /><br />NNatalie.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03306521406053336039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-84294978622254636962010-02-02T07:04:36.518-10:002010-02-02T07:04:36.518-10:00Natalie-
I hope my comment didn't come out th...Natalie- <br />I hope my comment didn't come out the wrong way when I told you that your faith inspired and awed me. I didn't mean at all that you must hurt less or that it is easier b/c of your faith... What I meant was that in spite of the desperate hurt and sadness and pain that I can't even fathom that you are experiencing, it is amazing that you remain so steadfast in your faith and knowledge that God is good. I wasn't sure if that came across as I intended and wanted to clarify...<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your blog with all of us,<br /><br />RebeccaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-29646686049048047732010-02-01T15:09:06.590-10:002010-02-01T15:09:06.590-10:00Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather opening...Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy - Author Unknown<br /><br />Natalie, your strength is absolutely amazing. As is your talent. God Bless <3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-12564715140182552492010-01-31T20:34:34.324-10:002010-01-31T20:34:34.324-10:00Thank you for that post Natalie!Thank you for that post Natalie!Leslie Houxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04358646762957763557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-75420960976089584632010-01-31T18:40:33.548-10:002010-01-31T18:40:33.548-10:00Today in Sunday school we read the Scripture where...Today in Sunday school we read the Scripture where it says, "I will fight your battles for you ". This struck a chord in my heart and tears streamed down my face. This post blends so well with that Scripture. Because of the Atonement, the sting of our refining experiences is softened, the pain isn't taken away because he loves us so much that He allows us our agency to grow and hopefully reach our potential one day. He doesn't step in and win the battles for us, but if the desires of our hearts our righteous, he will give us the ammunition to fight the battles we are confronted with, it is up to us what we do with that ammunition. He is our teammate if we allow him to be. Through our heartaches we are able to understand the Atonement and how our Savior can succor us in our times of need. How sweet it is to know that someone as mighty as He, we can connect with on such a personal, intimate level and pour our hearts out to Him. <br />What a glorious and beautifully orchestrated planCarlottahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10550004529510409715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-75212520560965593552010-01-31T15:19:49.835-10:002010-01-31T15:19:49.835-10:00FABULOUS! I am thankful for your post. God is go...FABULOUS! I am thankful for your post. God is good...all the time.<br /><br />For His glory,<br />BrookMatt5verse6https://www.blogger.com/profile/05839719515965181650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-16046053116520588622010-01-31T07:14:09.102-10:002010-01-31T07:14:09.102-10:00Ladies,
I think you are all amazing. Your thoughts...Ladies,<br />I think you are all amazing. Your thoughts and words will be helpful to so many, now and in the future for those who lose a child.<br />I know that there is a special spot reserved for mothers in heaven who have to go through this kind of loss.<br />xoxoAllyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00509122249582156271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-82889382731342827402010-01-31T00:36:25.027-10:002010-01-31T00:36:25.027-10:00Nate,
As an L&D nurse who welcomes life Into t...Nate,<br />As an L&D nurse who welcomes life Into the world; and out of it too; I have to say that people are Just so uncomfortable with death. They don't know what to say. I think it makes them think about their own mortality and they don't like that one bit.<br />But I have been finding this. And it's very strange. As I care of mothers with stillborn infants still inside of them; then help them deliver..well I find they comfort ME! Their strength is amazing. It restores my heart.<br /><br />Thats what you are doing to me too..restoring my heart. And faith in people.<br /><br />You're good people Natalie =)<br />Just keep talking xxx<br /><br />JodyJodyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01952575006952554649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-14670523087693340042010-01-30T22:44:29.156-10:002010-01-30T22:44:29.156-10:00Thanks Natalie. That's a tough situation with ...Thanks Natalie. That's a tough situation with your friend. I hope she will be more present now that the "ice" has been broken.<br /><br />A thought about the "that must be some dog" girl...at one time in my life a favored pet died and I cried and cried and cried. It was my first experience with death. My sister and I had a funeral and burial in our back yard. We were REALLY sad. <br /><br />Since then we've had more pets die. And an uncle and all of our grandparents. And I've shed tears for all of them. But I don't anymore. Not after the first week or so. <br /><br />What so many don't realize is how often the tears come for your dead children. My husband and I were talking specifically about the dog girl and he mentioned that he thought he was done "grieving" for our son. Then he started thinking and remembered he'd just cried about losing our Evan last Thursday - yes two days ago. It's been 16 months and we still cry. I'm sure we will be crying for years to come. The pain doesn't go away, but does lessen with time.Bridgethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17064616370181183885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-27832936497426445602010-01-30T22:28:12.230-10:002010-01-30T22:28:12.230-10:00Gosh, I'm so glad I said something, especially...Gosh, I'm so glad I said something, especially if you found it helpful! Between your story and my friend with the liver transplant baby, you're redefining how I look at faith. <br /><br />It is so hard to know what to say and how to say it, and to know if you're overstepping or not. Example: I was totally astonished that at the service you asked after my daughter in the receiving line. If our places had switched I don't know if I could have been so gracious. I think I said "Toothy" and then thought "What the heck? Why did I say that?" But laughing a little at my own awkwardness made me relax and give you proper condolences. :) I think most of your readers/friends figure if you didn't want to work through it and talk about it and have an open dialogue of support and prayer, you wouldn't be putting it on your blog. As long as you keep writing, we're still here to listen.<br /><br />Although, the dog? I hope that dog was Lassie-like!Deannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02510190554638875065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-18629458678488910912010-01-30T21:05:21.095-10:002010-01-30T21:05:21.095-10:00Bridget,
I'm so sorry.
The only thing I can...Bridget,<br /><br />I'm so sorry. <br /><br />The only thing I can think to say is something someone told me long ago. It made me think of you because it sounds like it's exactly what you're trying to do. <br /><br />"forgive, even as you seek forgiveness from the Lord, that you may never be poisoned by feelings of hate or revenge." <br /><br />Not that you're having THOSE specific feelings, but sometimes our frustration and anger towards something like that really do poison us, don't you think? Good for you for trying to let it go and forgive. I'm sure it's a difficult challenge. I know the feeling of wanting to validate your son. Oh boy do I know that feeling. I was talking about it with my husband just last night. <br /><br />One of my dearest friends has been completely mia since the death. It's interesting because today I stopped by her place and she said to me, "all I know to do is give you space." I realized that in doing so she really thinks she's doing the best thing she possibly can for me. It's all about intent, huh? I love her so much and hearing that really helped me to realize that she loves me in the same wonderful way. She is just trying to give me what she THINKS she would want in the same circumstances.<br /><br />Ooooh it's just all so difficult. . .for everyone involved. The griever, the "comforter". . . everyone.Natalie.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03306521406053336039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-10237919846401532752010-01-30T20:02:01.198-10:002010-01-30T20:02:01.198-10:00Of course it is not just that Christ suffered and ...Of course it is not just that Christ suffered and therefore we cannot expect to be spared suffering ourselves. When we suffer, when your son suffered, he took part in the suffering of Christ, sharing that which the Saviour bore. Painful for us all, but no greater gift to give to the Saviour: <br /><br />"Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind [lacketh] of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh..." Col 1:24.<br /><br />Christ suffered fully and completely, we we are called to join Him in that suffering "...for His body's sahke, which is the church..." Col 1:24. <br /><br /><br />Mother Teresa said: ".. [we] are asked to see suffering as being personnally kissed and embraced by the Crucified Lord. He holds us so close and so tight, we can feel the nail and thorns in our own body". <br /><br />God Bless.Richardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-78026957348584610972010-01-30T19:14:55.320-10:002010-01-30T19:14:55.320-10:00Thanks Natalie,
I like thinking about the intenti...Thanks Natalie,<br /><br />I like thinking about the intention behind the comments...that's a good thought and can also be applied to those who are silent. I think I've been more hurt by those that said nothing when they should have said something. <br /><br />Some of my husband's cousins and aunts/uncles have said nothing...even 16 months later. They live a 2-3 hour drive away but none came to the funeral. We had other family members driving 12 hours and close friends fly in with just a day's notice. So for family to not come and not even send a card is odd.<br /><br />My husband told me that his boss still hasn't said anything. I didn't know that. He was the one getting the phone call from the ER nurse saying that my husband wouldn't be coming in that morning. <br /><br />The one that hurts me most is the "friend" who was out of town when my son died. I birthed my daughter 6 days later. This lady left me a message (I wasn't answering the phone anymore) congratulating me for the birth of my daughter. She wanted to bring over some birthday cake. When I finally talked to her, I had to ask her if she knew that Evan died. She did. Her comment? She just wanted to keep things positive for me and focus on my little girl. I know that she did not intend to discount that a life really had existed. And that life had actually been playing at her home a couple of months prior. But it rubbed me wrong.<br /><br />So, a couple of weeks later she came over to my house, sat on my couch and proceeded to quiz me on everything surrounding the death. I guess she was ready to talk about it then??? Only, I'd already questioned her intentions. It seemed like she just wanted an inside scoop...the latest gossip. Well, even though I'm usually pretty much an open book, I closed down and she left without any extra information.<br /><br />And who's hurting now? I'm obviously harboring ill will and it's only holding me back. This lady doesn't know how offensive her comments/actions were to me. Now she's moved away. And I just need to forgive. And part of me just wants to hold on to it. Like it validates the importance of my Evan. <br /><br />Ally, that's funny in a not so funny way that you were supposed to teach that terrible morning. Heavenly Father definitely has a sense of humor....or great ways of preparing you with bits of knowledge. Ease the heart's pain? No, not at all. Just eases the mind. A little. I really like the imagery of handing your child to Jesus.<br /><br />How/when did your daughter die? I scanned your blog for details, but didn't see anything right off.Bridgethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17064616370181183885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-85779216209237701732010-01-30T16:23:34.781-10:002010-01-30T16:23:34.781-10:00Ally,
I assumed that's what you meant, but I ...Ally,<br /><br />I assumed that's what you meant, but I just wanted to be sure. :) <br /><br />Ally, Bridget, Rebecca and etc, :) <br /><br />It is so silly and hypersensitive, but it hurts my soul when people say things to me about how I mustn't be sad because of my faith. I try SO HARD to be understanding and remember that they're doing the best they can to comfort me. . . my husband had a REALLY good point yesterday. I was feeling really hurt by something insensitive someone said. Richie said, "Nat, what do you think her intention was?" And I realized, he was right. She had intended to compliment me, but her lack of experience with a situation like this led her to assume (or at least SAY) the wrong thing. <br /><br />I have made a commitment NOT to be offended by what people say because heaven knows I understand how hard it is to choose your words in situations like these! I'm sure I've unintentionally said a thing or two in my day that was insensitive and waaaaay off base.<br /><br />My new mantra is "What was their intention?" It really helps a lot!<br /><br />So much love all ya'll.<br /><br />NNatalie.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03306521406053336039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-66095663829129175382010-01-30T16:09:08.489-10:002010-01-30T16:09:08.489-10:00Natalie,
So sorry about the confusing comment. I w...Natalie,<br />So sorry about the confusing comment. I would explain but honestly Deanna and Bridget explained it perfectly.<br />Bridget wrote my exact thoughts. (thank you I loved them I copied and pasted below).<br />"Your mom made a comment to me about how Jesus mourned with those who mourned. "He wept with Lazarus' family--even when He knew He was on His way to raise him! Notice that He didn't say, C'mon cheer up everybody! Where's your gratitude? Where's your faith? No, He 'groaned' and He wept."<br /><br />And really, that is all you need when grieving...someone to cry with you. Someone to remember with you. Remember the details. Those precious details that slip by. Someone to make sure you're eating. Make sure you are getting lots of water and getting to bed at night. " (much thanks to Bridget)<br /><br />The day she died I was supposed to teach a lesson on Easter Sunday called "Understanding Death and the Resurrection". I mean, come on, really? Talk about having your own personal messsage sent. :)<br /><br />I can say for sure, that time in my life was the very darkest. But I look back and KNOW that I did not survive without a higher power carrying me. I do not know how I finally made the decision to have them take her away, and I don't know how I left the hospital without her...because it wasn't me at all. I know that I had angels around me, just like you.<br />I had a great friend tell me something that sorta changed me, and I repeated this every single night...she said "Picture yourself holding Kate to you, and loving her. Picture yourself physically handing her over to Jesus. Jesus Christ will keep her safe and loved, until the time that he can physically hand her back to you".<br /><br />You are so right when you say I can be strong and still grieve.<br /><br />And apparently, I need to buy a dog. Who knew?Allyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00509122249582156271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-75979635998105963802010-01-30T14:17:32.284-10:002010-01-30T14:17:32.284-10:00You are truly an inspiration...
Words aren't e...You are truly an inspiration...<br />Words aren't enough to describe to you how you've touched the depths of my heart & made me think, re-think, question, wonder, & of course hug my girls a little tighter.<br />Your faith is nothing short of miraculous and you've given me much to think about and reflect upon with regard to my own faith.<br />It's a natural inclination to ask God "why?" when things are bad and it's so hard (for me that is in the past) to remember that God is good and loving always and has a reason for what he does. You are a living example of a woman of real faith and your faith has in turn helped me rediscover my own.<br /><br />I am so sorry for your loss once again and am so sorry that it took this tragedy for me to find you and learn all that I have from you. <br /><br />Best,<br />RebeccaFinding My Way Back...https://www.blogger.com/profile/08517509880101659773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-81828386356410618162010-01-30T13:37:07.840-10:002010-01-30T13:37:07.840-10:00You have had both my husband and I in tears. But ...You have had both my husband and I in tears. But in a good way...we are learning from you. We are feeling the spirit testify through you in such a beautiful and sweet way. <br /><br />Thank YouAndeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02466009578143940602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-1111456337945022732010-01-30T12:51:30.969-10:002010-01-30T12:51:30.969-10:00It makes me think cringingly back to the time, bef...It makes me think cringingly back to the time, before having children, that I said in a lesson, something like, "you just don't allow your children to fight!" Bwahahaha! I must say those women were saints to not laugh me out of the room! Seriously. They knew I'd cringe some day, all on my own.shellynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-70239557177115426532010-01-30T12:47:39.232-10:002010-01-30T12:47:39.232-10:00SOME DOG for SURE! Wow! Sounds like it should be...SOME DOG for SURE! Wow! Sounds like it should be added to Charlotte's (as in Charlotte's Web) sayings:) Hahaha! You and your mom just crack me up.shellynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-9676510450861492062010-01-30T09:06:37.004-10:002010-01-30T09:06:37.004-10:00'That must have been SOME DOG' Bwahahahah...'That must have been SOME DOG' Bwahahahahhaha!!!<br />Oh thanks, Natty. I haven't had that good a laugh since . . . well, in too long a time.<br /><br />Dad laughed out loud too and says, "Go Nat!"<br /><br />Bridget-I love that my words to you came full circle back to bless Natalie. Thank you, sweetheart. I'm thinking this is just exactly how angels seem to work. I knew I liked you.Annie Linkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11852452174323492020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021668448931262073.post-17628702161795777982010-01-30T06:46:39.072-10:002010-01-30T06:46:39.072-10:00Dear Natalie, You are amazing and thank you for te...Dear Natalie, You are amazing and thank you for teaching me. Love, ArdenArdenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01700372690539896210noreply@blogger.com