Forks.

While I wasn't able to make it to the midnight showing
of Eclipse last night with the girls. . .

I did in fact spend the night in Forks.

And that's almost as cool.

right?

Internet!!!

Internet!

It's been really really REALLY cool not having internet.

But it is also really really REALLY cool to have it again for a second. :)

I just counted and I officially have 17 shoots that need to be blogged.

SEVENTEEN.

as Jon would say,
meh.

I'll get to them when I do.

Right now,
enjoying time with family.

and.it's.awesome.

we'll be washing our hands. a lot.

Um.

Still in a state of shock over yesterday's
reported Pertussis epidemic in the state of CA.

Information has been pouring in to me from readers in
OTHER STATES
reporting positive diagnoses of Pertussis as well. . .

bottom line:
Don't mess around.

If you have an infant,

GET YOUR FREAKING
ADULT PERTUSSIS VACCINATION.

today.

yesterday.

last week.

It is just NOT worth the risk!

When your baby dies in your arms,
you get to say things like that.

and people have to believe you.

____________________________

have a good weekend.

We'll be camping!

and washing our hands.

a lot.

xx,

me

one was enough.

Dear California,

Did you know that your

department of public health

just declared Pertussis an epidemic in your state?!

Did you know that 5. . .

F.I.V.E.

babies have died of pertussis in CA just this year?

Did you know that

it is the worst pertussis has been in the state in 50 years?

Did you know that you can protect

the babies in your life by getting your

adult pertussis vaccination?

This is a disease that was nearly eradicated.

and it's back.

with a vengeance.

_____________________

FIVE babies.

That's not just a statistic to me.

Those are five families.

Five mothers.

Saying goodbye.

Join the fight against pertussis by liking

the Sounds of Pertussis campaign on facebook here.

Let's not wait until 5 becomes 10.

or until 10 becomes 15.

or more.

ONE was enough.

trust me.

because he was mine.

spread the word by linking to this post.

let's end this today. together.

xx,

me

utah.

hate on her all you want,
but I'll tell you what. . .

Utah, I'm a big fan.

SO good to be home.

though it's hard not to remember how
last time we were here. . .

we were 6.
_______________________

and your diaper bag . . .

well, the insides, they still smell like you.

and your car seat. . .

I didn't see a reason to bring it back with us,
empty.

so here it still is.

naturally.

but bla bla bla
because guess what?

life is still good and
God is still great.

and mommy still loves you a billion.

xx,

me

Day . . . something or other. . .

Day something or other.

and I'm pretty certain that means 10.

or 11.

or 9.

we're off to Utah in the morning.

and there's much more coming once the www situation isn't such a joke.

and once we're not off gallivanting all day. every day.

after this week, it'll only be half days of gallivantationing. ;)

thanks for being patient over the past week of nada. . .
and this current week of spotty spotty content.

promise to have things back up and running asa to the power of p.

xx!

Nat

honolulu airport | Day 1

Honolulu Airport.

that's where the mania began.

well it really began in a pile full of laundry
then went to a car full of crazy

and THEN

we ended up at HNL.

and the airport is just crazy in general.

without kids.

crazy.

and then you add a billion children
and 2 month's worth of suitcases. . .

and well, there just aren't words.

and amid all the hustle,

I stopped.

and my heart was nearly wrenched from my chest.

_________________________________

who knows how long he'd be gone.

and I suppose there's really no certainty
he'll ever come home. . .

and there's a knot it my throat just typing that.

and she was crying.

tears that were gentle and sincere.

the kids were a mess.

and he was . . .
something I don't have words to describe. . .

and I didn't have time to think.

we were walking by and there was only this one moment.

I pulled out my instant camera (yes, I bought it last week)
and through humiliating tears directed their family together. . .

. . . he tearfully put it in the pocket over his heart.

and they said goodbye.

_______________________

and suddenly all my crazy,
didn't seem so crazy.

and if I never take another picture as long as I live,
it won't matter.

that moment was enough.

Hi!

Epcot at night. LOVELY.

I've missed you!

I couldn't for the life of me find a way to blog from my tele,
so. . . I'm sorry a billion times over for the long gap between posts!

I've been enjoying Orlando. . .

well, really. . .
I've just been enjoying my family.

so.much.

so.so.much.

so.so.so.much.

and that's really all I can think to say.

other than this:

today.

Cardon sees a dwarf for the first time in his life
and LOUDLY proclaims:

"That's the smallest grown up I've ever seen!"

it was awesome.

and our small friend was ever so gracious and understanding.

thankfully.

similar to the other day when he saw a tiny filipina
in an elevator and said:

"Dad! How does a grown up get so tiny?!"

oh cardon.

oh. oh. oh.

sister friends.

don't mind the zero make up. . .
or our disheveled hair. . .
or our absurd arrangement of beach attire. . .

my 27th birthday | 2008
image by Jon

I have certain friends in my life who I call sister friends.

and these are a few of them.

on Monday, the last of us,
excluding my lonely self,
is headed off the island to other wonderful adventures.

Dori, please don't go.

I love you girls so much. . .

and I miss you every day.

xx.

Me

my mom.

Dear Mom,

I love you,
and tomorrow is your birthday.

I rewrote this post a billion times.

trying to be eloquent.

but there is just not another way to tell you how much I love you
than just to tell you. . . how very much I love you.

because I do.

Love you.

So very very much.

There could NEVER EVER have been a better mother
for me than you.

Thank you.

for all of it.

especially the part where you gave us your all.

every.single.bit.of.you.

Happy happy day.

love,

me

(and your gavin too)

today smelled like good good friends.

today smelled like a teleprompter.

a teleprompter and white slacks.

white slacks get dirty verrrrry easily.
why did I think they would be a good idea?
sometimes I wonder about my thought process.

today smelled like talented colleagues.

talented colleagues and good good food.

even if it was cold by the time we got to sit down and eat.
at least it was well photographed before it was devoured.

today smelled like happy children.

happy children and a husband who loves me millions.

he'll also swim in the ocean with me in all our clothes.
that was fun.
we should do it again really soon.

today smelled like hard hard work.

hard hard work and good good friends.

how did I get so many beautiful people in my life.
no one knows.
I don't deserve them.

xx.

me

baby evelin.

we love you so much baby evelin. . .

auntie nat

help protect beautiful newborns like baby evelin;
get your adult pertussis vaccination today.

do it for baby gavin.
for baby evelin.
for me.

public service announcement: vaccination discussion.

this is not an open discussion on vaccinations.

just a couple of thoughts on the DISCUSSION of vaccinations in general.

just know, that no matter what I say below,
I love you.

I'm ABSOLUTELY not pinpointing anyone in particular!

I'm just publicly setting some boundaries,
because I feel like I owe that to myself and my tender soul.

1. don't come up to me at church or the grocery store or the beach or the ladies room and try to talk to me about vaccinations. It's uncomfortable for me, and it makes me feel cornered.
   
2. if you want to talk to me about vaccinations, please genuinely want to listen to me as well. most people who open the vaccination discussion are more interested in giving me their opinion on vaccinations and though they approach the discussion from the grounds of seeking to understand. . . 9 times out of 10 it's simply a way to open a dialog so that they can tell me all about how they feel about vaccines and why their opinion is right.
3. don't assume that you know how I feel about childhood vaccines. I have not openly discussed this topic other than with close friends and family members.
4. if you want to ask me questions or tell me a thing or two about vaccinations, please just wait a little while. I am 100% happy to discuss this at a later date. The bottom line is that right now with all the mommying (grief stricken kids need a LOT more parenting than their free spirited counterparts), wifeyness (husbands hearts break too), shooting and all the business etcs (my release and often salvation) and regular grief and healing, I just don't have the TIME to address the subject in its entirety. When I do discuss the topic, I want to make sure I can do so comprehensively AND have time and energy for the backlash that is inherent to these types of discussions and thus is inevitable no matter how respectfully I approach the subject.

In the mean time,
THANK YOU for being patient with me.

If you see me in the bathroom, please just tell me that my fly is down.

and let's just save this discussion for a more appropriate time
when we can both give it the attention to detail that it deserves.

thank you dearies.

I really do love you.

xx.

Me

PS. Lame way to start your Monday.

I know.

I'll make it up to you, scouts honor!

happy weekending!

click to enlarge :)
they're even more beautiful close up. :)

Happy weekending!

xx!

Me

huppy burfday.

stop growing up.

right this very second.

you are magic, just as you are. . .

magic.

I LOVE YOU A BILLION MY RALEIGH!!

xx,

Mommy

____________________

"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!" — J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

utah.

Dear Utah,

You sure know how to do Summer.

Can't wait to see you in a few weeks.

xx.

Me

Instax.

I'm sincerely considering nabbing one of these bad boys
for our upcoming travels.

I almost bought one for each of the boys for Christmas.
I mean, Santa almost did that.

BUT THEN,
Santa realized how expensive the film was
and decided those were really extravagant gifts
for a 6, 4 and 3 year old.

_____________________

. . .they're just so awfully trendy at the moment.

That is always a deterrent to me,
but it really shouldn't be.

Because that is a REALLY stupid reason
not to get something awesome. . .

thoughts?

yes/no/maybe