hate on her all you want,
but I'll tell you what. . .
Utah, I'm a big fan.
SO good to be home.
though it's hard not to remember how
last time we were here. . .
we were 6.
_______________________
and your diaper bag . . .
well, the insides, they still smell like you.
and your car seat. . .
I didn't see a reason to bring it back with us,
empty.
so here it still is.
naturally.
but bla bla bla
because guess what?
life is still good and
God is still great.
and mommy still loves you a billion.
xx,
me
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13 thoughts:
Beautiful photo, beautiful faith.
Thanks for your faith, I needed this today. We just lost a baby a month ago today and I needed to hear that life is still good and GOd is good. Thanks again!
Welcome back. It will get better, one heartache at a time. Somebody else can put the carseat away if you don't want to. But of course that's not your point.
Today's our little guy's birthday, oh how I miss him. The rest of the world goes on and on and on. But yes God is amazingly great. And we just had super yummy birthday cake. I'll never stop celebrating the day he joined our eternal family.
Thinking of you, not just me. Enjoy Utah!
Utah is a gorgeous state, I love it too.
Hugs! God is good to all of us even in our trials He is there to lift us. You are still in our prayers.
yeah, i hated on utah my whole life and i dont know why? she's a beaut.
and your words always give me chills (in a good way), make me stop and think, and make me feel resolve to do and be better.
thanks- again and again.
Hi, I'm one of the people who read your articles on dps and was inspired to create a blog to improve my photography. I linked you on my first post http://gabriellesapphira.wordpress.com/ I love your pictures and I really felt down about mine but reading your articles made me feel good again. I'm so sorry about your loss but I'll pray for you and I hope things get better!
Thank you for keeping me motivated and you will see light at the end of the tunnel, so don't give up!
Kristen,
Happy birthday to your little guy. :)
BIG HUG!
Love,
Natalie
thanks anonymous! :)
So I lived in Utah for a bit and hated it! Maybe I wouldn't have if I had only seen this side. I do love the down town historic character though :)
oooooo squishy, squishy, squishy hugs to you all. and a big kiss blown to tiny gav. (SOOOOOO glad you are here in UT...I can't wait to see you!)
Oh nat, your post made me tear, your reader's comments made me cry. I need to be a better mom to mine. They are too precious to waste a moment.
When you said you were in Utah on twitter I thought about that. You are so amazing. I love reading your blog because it helps me realize that I need to cherish every moment with the ones I love. Thank you for being so open and honest on your blog. You are an incredible mother and person Natalie.
Natalie, I live in California, I have seen the outbreak. We live in the second highest county with pertussis outbreak. Earlier this year, my son Ian, my miracle child that has defined the odds and was a pure joy from God after losing 4 before him, got Whooping cough. He had RSV as an infant and has a compromised immune system. He also has autism. It was a difficult decision for me to continue with his vaccines or not, and we opted out of the last 20% after seeing our one and only child fade away, I felt helpless like I was losing another child. Luckily I am one of those moms that slight sniffle, cough, fever, whatever, he stays home. But as you know, the symptoms show up and you have already spread it around. because my kid is used to bing in and out of the childrens hospital, I carry a child's mask with me, and as soon as the doctor saw us ( lucky we were the last patients of the day), I slipped the mask on him to get his antibiotics from the pharmacy. I sit here with tears on my cheeks for your loss, but joy for our lil' man ( ok, he's 7, I really need to stop calling him my baby). I also have very poor health and have defeated the odds, and surprised health professionals with my existence. I was not able to get a booster because of my Lupus, and the complications it could cause with my kidneys, blah blah blah. So now I am lying around with walking pnemonia. But we as moms do anything for our babies, and Ian slept next to me every night, and I was up every four hours to give him meds. I am SO SO sorry for your loss, and nothing will bring your baby back. But sister, keep telling your story. Because people know Ian's history and that he's a waiver kid, I get asked a lot if they should vaccinate their babies. That's not my place to say. If I could do it over, I would do it different, delayed or one shot at a time (we came to find out ian was allergic to a lot of stuff they are putting in the vaccines, compromising his immune system and shutting him down. I agree no one should lose their child to a disease that had been erradicated. But I am so encouraged by your faith, your photography, and your courage. I will never have a chance to have another baby, so God has given me a gift of photography, and I keep gravitating towards kids and babies in their natural state. I am about to embark on my first pro- gig of my preggo shots. It's my best firends, third and last, she finally got her boy. And as much happiness I have for her, I ache inside for the four babies I lost and never got to meet. but I know that someday, I will have all my babies with me again, and I am eager to meet them all. Please don't ever stop saying you have so many kids and one lives in Heaven. I hope your story encourages others to do their part and if they can, get vaccinated. God has a purpose for Gavin, and his name and story will live on for eternity.
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